Sombre hearts..

How do you help a mother to overcome her child's death and a wife's sorrowfull on the loss of her otherhalf??

I called my mom yesterday to say hi and check on things. Things after the latest family crisis. Things that left her heart feeling sore and sombre. She expected it, but didn't expect it to be so soon. But Mommy, when is soon is too soon and late is late enough? I can feel her voice, the sadness, the tears she cried, all those late nights on the patio alone wondering why does it has to be her angel and not her. The pain was too much for her, but she's one strong woman. She's my pillar of strength. When all others gave up on me, she did not, she pulled me back on track and showed me the right path. She has her weaknesses but all are shared nothing are hidden so that we'll learn. Learned to accept the fact that humans are far from being perfect, that it's ok to have weaknesses and to overcome the shortcomings in life with pride and dignity.

Now she's scared. Scared of losing the only link to her angel.Her 5 grand-angels. She misses them so much. She miss them being around her house jumping, playing and eating her hand-cooked meals even just for one weekend. A weekend that never came. A weekend that went away with her angel being gone or so she thought. I must initiate and not expect her to come week in week out just to see her 5 angels. Now she comes, she comes only to be with her angel and recites prayers for her angel. To pray for his serenity in life after death. She talks to him though she knows there will never be any replies. I sometimes forget that she's already 64 years old. I still think of her as the superwoman who runs her family 24/7 despite all the challenges she faced with my daddy. Yes, my daddy, not an easy person to deal with. But she hold on to her marriage for the sake of her 5 angels. It was not the divorcee title she was afraid of, it was us being without a father to run home to that made her hold on to it.

It was her instincts that made her cook all those scrumptious dishes for her angel to feast one last time. The last that came too soon. She will not hesitate to take his place not for one second. She still feels the pain of giving birth to her precious angel. Will she ever overcome this? Only time can tell...only time can heal the heart of a sombre mother...

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Half of her went with her otherhalf. Her otherhalf to whom she has promised to give her life, her loyalty and her love. He was her friend, her confidante, her soulmate, her husband and a dotting father to 5 beautiful angels. If she was given a choice to stay or leave with him, I'm very much sure she will choose the latter.

She's fragile, she's vulnerable and she's frail. That she'll crush if she's not supported by faith to Allah. Her desire to live died together with him. The life that they have build together crashes down at that spur of moment. She's afraid, afraid that she's not able to raise the kids to his expectations. But Sis, we don't know what life has in store for us and for the kids. You'll raise them to be as kind and soft as you are and strong and firm as Abah was. Yes you will, I know you can. You don't need another otherhalf to raise them. He will never be the father he was and no guarantee of the kids being happy with him as a father. Yes, they're happy now because he's a caring teacher but can a man who has a wife and 2 kids offer you and your 5 kids a certain amount of happiness?? With all due respect no woman would want to share her otherhalf. If there is, I am sure there is a spot of wound in their kind heart. A wound wounded by the same gender previously holding the same title.

I know in my heart the love for my brother is something not to be question...but I can't help it. I just can't understand how a love developed from just a friendship can mellow down after a lame proposal. A proposal which should not have come not this soon at least and for whatever reason it was. At least not at your fragile and vulnerable state of condition.

I know you will think deep and think straight.....you can hear his angelic voice calling for you to be strong. I know you will because your parents have raised you well and your otherhalf have given you the hidden unknown strength waiting to come out.