Thursday, June 28, 2007


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Macam tetiba panic attack!!! wtf!!! all my entries...


after 48hours it was ok..



I'm always behind when it comes to reading newspaper. I read yesterday's paper today. Well at least I'm reading it.

My heart weep and tears streaming down my cheek when I saw the pictures above.

What kind of idiot, moron, maniac, crazy human can do this???

These are children for godsake!!!

Take someone your size god dammit!!!

What happen to kind heart?? Where is love when these children need it?? I wish I can have my hands on the caretaker, by god I will.....damn I'm so angry, frustrated, sad.... everything at one time.

I'm glad the Al-Hanan orphans in Baghdad are in better hands now wherever they are.
Now I appreciate my childhood more than ever.

At least the US Soldiers are doing a teeny weeny bit of noble act than taking people's life. Pardon my patriotism...

I hope the caretaker will be punished and rot in hell!!! Scum!!

Read more on these kids here.

Monday, June 25, 2007

Mari belajar spelling....

Today is Monday. Every Monday I teach Basic Adult English to my staffs from 8 - 9am. It's humorous I tell yaaa...My peeps are funny people...ader dari makcik yg dah dah setengah abad sampailah semuda muda 20tahun.

They come from various background..dlm class tu ader minah indon, minah jawa, minah sabah laaa...mek kelate, yg utagha pun by gak, mat nepal, mat myanmar......kira complete la team haku nie..peeps who speaks malay with many accents.

And not surprisingly ada yang I consider quite good considering their level of career for now. I hope they can go far. In my industry, it's necessary.

Anyway, after my recap English class yang 3 weeks overdue because of the banjir, they had a morning briefing before starting their daily work.

So today, of all days AM aku nak brief pasal spelling. Aku pun observe laa.. It was one of the funniest briefing ever...serious...I usually don't let myself go infront of my peeps...malu la kan...

AM tu cakap,

Hari ini saya nak briefing pasal you all punyer spelling dalam loss and breakages book..saya tak tau macamana A buat monthly inventory for this OPE, tapi kalau saya dah lama give up...

No. 1 - Ashtray

Macam maner nak sebut??

Ashtray yer...

So ader yg dgn bersusah payah lah berusaha nak sebut...

"B" macamana sebut?



Haaa..ass?? aaa..kiss my ass....ass tu pungkok aku!!!

Sebut lagi semua...ashtray...


Ok...macamane nak eja??








ASHTRAY......boleh sumer??


Next - Hi Ball Glass

Spelling dier bukan,

Hibo Glas,




Hi b galss







Dan Bukan,


One staff interuppted...

Cik UBA, tu Hasbullah Awang tu....

Aku nak gelak ke tak nak????

Spelling dier sumer adalah...

Hi Ball Glass

Boleh sumer???


Next we have - Tumbler







Aku pun interrupt,

Tumble tu tergolek ok??


Macam maner eja nie??

T U M B L E R....


AM aku pun continue...

Nie..niee...aper nie??? saper bleh explain??


Saya agak-agak lah..I think it's saucer...tolong yer...ejaan dier bukan saose..

Itulah sekitar our briefing this morning...

But top this ladies and gentlemen....last but not least yg buat aku gelak tergolek-golek...


Saper tau??

Anyone can figure this out?

Dah tau?

Teka laaa??


It's suppose to be....


Aku tak tau laa..indon ker jawa ker, kelantan ker or saper saper laaa...but shower curtain became

sawang kentang???

Beat that..guys.... sesapa ader maid indon cuber tanyer...

Really...I love my peeps..sometimes they make me angry, they make me sad, they make me feel hopeless..but best of all they can also make me laugh like crazy...

Sampai biler2 aku akan ingat sawang kentang nie....

Remember my fellow bloggers....the above is shower curtain and not sawang kentang...

Sunday, June 24, 2007

10 simples pleasures tagged

Sis Tynna tagged me not too long ago...sorry sis for the delay..better late then never..they say...

Here goes...

1) To take a year break and travel the world backpacking without having to worry about any bills. And a job to come back to...

2) Time and financial permits to take short breaks, go somewhere and do my own thing at my own time. No rushing for lunch, dinner or having to get up for breakfast. Lie down under the stars, read books, sleep with the wind blowing brushing my skin or do a pirated dvd's marathon.

3) To be able to eat and not gaining a pound...

4) To give my mom all the money in the world so she won't fret on me over small things

5) To find my soul mate who accepts me unconditionally and get hooked within 3 months.....and the rest is history..

6) A fully paid fully furnished penthouse in KL Triangle so I can walk to work...

7) SMART tunnel to work so I dun have to push that damn water again.

8) Come back to a fully home theatre tv set complete with latest technologies in a sound proof room, a high speed internet and a lap top.

9) Live and work abroad and come back for holiday to this hot beautiful country of mine..Malaysia

10) That I will have a chance to get my parents ultimate forgiveness for all my shortcomings and a chance to give them a better life.

Ya ok...some might not come true..but hey..we'll never know...

Anyone out there willing to make no 1 come true..hehhh..hehhh

Friday, June 22, 2007

Once upon a time at LRT car park....


Got down from LRT and headed towards the car



Pandang couple tengah bergaduh...alaaa..mamat nie buat pekak me la deyy... My car there...pleasee!!!!!


Still standing at a faaaarrrr corner from carpark... Where is people when I need them??? Damn I'm gonna miss half of HEROES...


A good samaritan brudder who works with the LRT was doing his rounding found me standing looking helpless.

Apsal? Nak pie keta ke? laaa...dah lamer tunggu niee.. Boleh tolong kaaa??

As we walking to the cars....

Brudder - Sebenarnyer ANJING nie satu jer cara dier...jangan lari..pastuh jangan ader raser takut..

Aku - Errr..tu laa..tapi saya nie memang penakut dengan ANJING... errr..tima kasih la..temankan saya niee...

Brudder - aaa..takpa...takpaaa..

Damn dogs!!!!! Anjing hampass!!! 4 ekorr..woooo...keliling area keta haku...

9.15pm finally drove home... sial jerr hanjing niee...20minit tuuu..miss HEROES aku...I cud have reach home within that time..

If there's any fear that I need to with them dogs...poodle kecik pun boleh buat aku terkencing...

Sunday, June 17, 2007

Happy Father's Day - Dear Abah....

Happy Father's Day

My wishes to all Fathers out there and that includes my father. My relationship with my father is totally different with my mom. I can talk about everything with my mom..err..ok not everything but whatever it is that I want to talk about, I can. But with Abah, it's a reverse.

The older cousins and elderly relatives have told many times that my Abah is a totally different person when we were younger. He was a dotting father and my big sister who's her first daughter is his favourite. He would bring us around whenever he has spare time off.

My mom used to say..eeiihh...mummy dulu malas nak bawak all of you kuar whenever we do go out, but Abah always say that...eeii..mesti la bawak..we must stick together. Be it to groceries or any expos like the the book fair, or furniture fair..kan dulu dulu byk expo ni kan?? at stadium negara laa..DBP hall laa..and few other places.

Infact my mom bought this big bucket of bright orange for rice storing at this "expo" once upon a time, both mom and abah were so busy shopping when they heard a sound on a speaker "moooommmyyyy" followed by "sesiapa yang ada kehilangan anak..bla...blaa..." that bright orange bucket could fit my brother at that time. I was prolly in a pram then.

As I grew older abah became distant or was it us? Dunno...

Many people told me, UBA appreciate your father while he's still alive for once he's gone, he's never coming back. I didn't understand this but as I grow older and wiser, I sorta know what it means.

Last Friday when I send my father to Friday prayer, he looked so fragile. When I fetched him 2 hours later, he look really old and frail.

He's a forgetful abah now. Kept asking the same question over and over again. He could not accept the reason why we sold the car after that minor crash last year. He could not understand why I'm holding his ATM card. Kak Long duplicated his IC and driving license for his safe keeping as he kept losing the original. Even then it still got lost. Everytime he ask for it, I would say..takder kat UBA la Bah, it's with you, remember I gave it to you? And he would ker?? Is there such thing as white lie? He accused me of stealing his money. Sometimes we see him walking to the lake and we'll follow him from behind just to make sure he reaches his destination safely.

My mom was and is still emotionally hurt by his emotional abuse. There were times when I asked my mom, How did u do it? How can you accept his wrongdoing? My mom would say, he was not like that before. He's a man with ego he is. He took care of the bills, not asking a cent from my mom. My mom only spend on the groceries. He's a thrifty person too. According to my mom Arwah abang maser kecik use to say, abah kalau gie pasar, asik la sayur yang sama and ikan...kalau mommy best, ader sotong ader udang, ader sumer laahh..that's my father, he's childhood was not easy, therefore he's really stinged when it comes to money.

There were time I ask my mom, how can you tolerate all this? Because of you children, I don't want you all to grow up without a father. After all his flaws was not that major, he never hit my mom that's for sure.

There are times when he's on his crazy mood, I would say to mom, Mie sometimes I wish either Allah take me or him first because if not my life would be fill with sin to my father. Astaghfirullahallazim....nauzubilla minzalik...

When my bro died, he asked my mom, "Ini eri ke? Eri dah takder?" And one night after my brother passed away, he asked my mom, nape Eri tak suker I? My mom cried bucket, she said, maner ader Bah..maner plak dier tak suker...

We were in a car driving to Along's wedding when my mom said, It's 19th May,abang birthday today, he would be 38, I just nodded my head muttering I remembered. Then I heard she asked Abah, u ingat tak, birthday Eri nie? Birthday Eri yer?? 38 tahun dah yerr?? And he looked outside the window, I wonder what is in his mind.

I remembered when I was 10, I ran away from home, then after arwah Pak Long found me and took me to Abah, I was so scared that he would hit me. But instead he just hug me so tight and said never ever do that again and always remember that he loves me.

Sometimes I wonder what happen to my Abah? Apakah dugaan yang Allah would like our family to overcome?

I vaguely remember an ayat in Quran that says something like,

Allah S.W.T takkan menduga kita dengan apa yang tak dapat kita terima.

Maybe this is my lot. I'm counting my blessing, I've seen people suffering worst, enduring hardship in life and trying to make ends meet. At least my Abah provided us with an excellent shelter and good food and good education. What with the trauma and all....we are still surviving. U know what they say? What dun kill you just makes you stronger...

What else could I ask for?

Add-on 18/6 :-

I remembered about 9 months before my brother's death, we had a family meeting to discuss about my younger sis mayday situation with her bf. After the meeting, somehow or rather arwah ended up wit Abah at the garden talking under the star. All of us were peeping from inside including my mom and I remembered she said..finally...finally...both of them are finally talking like father and son.

When my brother went into the house couple of hours later, we applauded.

But sadly he told my mom... Mummy, Ayi dah cuber mie..I did...but through out the conversation all he did was lecturing me like I'm a small kiddo...I tried...

After that, all of us siblings decided to go to mamak for teh tarik and he came to a conclusion which all of us agreed...

No matter what, he is our father, without him there is no us. Now we don't have to pretend we're bunch of Brady's but we don't have to disrespect him either. If that one day come and he'll be taken away, I will shed my tears....and 9 months later my brother left us. All 6 of us shed our tears....

Wednesday, June 13, 2007

Masuk dalam lagi... read on. This is far from what you have in mind...hehh..hhehh

There are many circumstances and via many tone of voices that we can utter the words above.

1. When a couple are at the height of orgasm and needing more, of course uttering it with an additional of the word "sayang" at the end. Need I elaborate further??

2. Or could be when we're telling the children to scoot further in the car, again with "sayang" at the end.

I could think of many ways of saying those 3 words but this morning outside the lrt someone got pissed with some people in it, who has a habit of entering the coach and immediately stop right smack in the middle of the entrance/exit door.

Now, what could be worst than having inconsiderate fools/morons/idiot as a fellow commuters who only cares about themselves??

One that don't know shit about the ethic of taking the lrt's or pretend not to know that they deserve an "idiot" remark before 9am. Boy..I would be pissed if I'm farked by stranger before the daily morning big time.

Well good for you mate!!! Serves you right for being ignorant...

I found some good tips here on how we can make everyone's rush hour journey a little bit pleasant....

So the next time anyone muttering "masuk dalam lagi" u better dig in and dig in deep.

Friday, June 08, 2007

Rambo, First Flood!!!

SMART tunnel ain't smart yet after all...Last Sunday 3rd July, what was warned to me when I accepted this job, became reality. My "FIRST FLOOD" in my life.

I remembered it clearly..ohh UBA, the SOP for our department is that everything has to be kept above knee and nothing should be on the floor. And when the flood comes, jacket or no jacket everyone has to share the burden. Of course that came right after I put my signature on...cehh..dah sign baru nak cakap..takpe laaaa..

The aftermath was hell.. We had to push water for about 4 hours..clearing the mud and thanks to Sg Kelang!! Balik pukul 12 malam oiii...cud not even walk up to my room from the garage, fell asleep..sedar sedar pukul 2.30am...went up shower and hit the sack again. Aku rasa malam tu aku tido with my hands up in the air pushing water...

The SMART tunnel better be functioning soon...

I read in the newspaper sometime few days ago that the tunnel will be fully functioning as dual tunnel by the end of June.

An excerpt from STAR Sunday 3rd. Macam tau-tau pulak nak banjir that day..

From scepticism to admiration - tunnel specialist - Dr Martin Herrenknecht's

~It involved digging a tunnel of about 10km between Kampung Berembang in Ampang and Sungai Besi to the south of Kuala Lumpur. The tunnel will allow access water from the upstream in the Klang river to be diverted directly to a huge lake in Sungai Besi, thus preventing flooding in the city centre near the Masjid Jamek area~

It better not rain cats and dogs again until the SMART becomes SMARTER...










Add-on - 11/06/07

2nd flood hit was major yo... As expected I came to work today with muds on the road and things in office scattered all over. Measured the flood via the water trace mark on the wall...pheww..slightly higher than me. See the last picture, imagine the water rising and totally wiped out the long vanity mirror...can imagine or not?? aiyoooo... amazing to think that just few hours earlier the whole basement was underwater like in titanic and now it's just puddles of gross water with lots and I mean lots of things u can't even imagine!!

Double shift today, went back at midnight, took my shower, soak my feet in warm water, eat my McChicken and watch Devil wears Prada....Hmmm.... thinking in another 7 hours I will be back to that pit hole...


It's Friday and genap lah 7 hari that my mom refuse to talk to me or me refuse to talk to me...I dunno..I'm just gonna let time fix it all for now.. at least when I see her at the patio before going to work I still do salam her.

Tomorrow is Qistina's cukur jambul. Just few minutes ago, her mom walked into my room arrogantly said...

UBA, nak pinjam kereta nak pie kedai, reben dah habis...

Took my keys, hand it to her and she snapped it from me.


Sabar UBA....Sabar...


Congratulations to Pak Lah and his soon to-be wife Jeanne Danker ABdullah. Semoga berkekalan..ameen....

Friday, June 01, 2007

Mom, Please forgive me....

Today my tiredness was being misunderstood by mom. It's my only off day of the week and I really need to rest around and do my errands at my own time without any pressure. As I pass no. 3 couple of years ago, I've beginning to understand myself bit by bit. Sometimes, me confused me, can anyone understand me? Heck..I sometimes don't. Adakah aku going to be senile?? Mintak dijauhkan Allah.

I'm a temperamental person, but throughout the years I've toned down a lot. I know now that when I'm angry or being attacked for no reason, it's best I walked away and come back later for confrontation, when I'm more calm.

I know now that I can forgive easily, not necessarily forget, but I'm learning to do that too. I hold no grudge to people who have hurt me intentionally or unintentionally.

Most importantly I hate it when people make plans for me without giving prior notice or assume that I'm always free just because I'm the only single in the family.

I saw a show on TV quite sometime ago, this shrink said to this lady - Go on Stephanie, express it, tell your father as if he's in front of you. Tell him how you feel about all the years of abusing you've endured.- You will feel better, even if he's 6 feet below. Let it go.

And that's what I'm going to now. Instead of talking, I'll write about it. Glad that my mom is still breathing while I'm writing this...

Assalamualaikum Dearest Mummy,

First of all, please accept my apologies for my uncalled behaviour this morning. It's absolutely not acceptable. I want to stress here that, mom you can always ask for my help at anytime, but I just wish that you give prior notice and even without notice, I may sulk like I always do, but I'll do it. I only have very limited rest day. I don't have luxury of what other siblings have. I cannot be going to the bank every rest day.

I don't understand where you stand on the fact that I sleep more then I work. Because I only sleep average of 5.5 hours everyday..rarely I get to sleep more because of the nature of my work.

Today, I somehow was not verbally rebellious to you like I always do. I kept silent and off course my expression shows frustration by the misinterpretation. But I sense that you wanted me to not shut up but instead talk back as how I always do. I was more perturbed by the fact that Ayu always like to "batu api" when situation like this happen.

Yes, I think I made your drop a tears or two today and this is not the first time, I admit and beg for your forgiveness, but she has to stop that kind of attitude. Always finding a chance to "tembak". How many countless time that she made you cried too?? With her new born tu and how she refused to follow yur advise and instead rely on the internet for everything. Like your experience giving birth to 7 children are nothing compared to the internet knowledge. Have I ever made situation worst? Nope, I always said, biarlah mom, she has a husband and now a mother, pandai-pandaila nak hidup. Let it be.

I know I'm not one of your best product. I'm not the smartest, I'm not even what every mother's dream. I'm fat, you always say so. Every achievement, it's not good enough because I'm fat. I'm still not married because I'm fat, you stressed this fact all the time, I know. Is it not matter that I'm happy? Doesn't it matter to you that I made it this far from the result of your upbringing? Is it still not enough of an achievement unless I'm slim as every mother's dream.

Nevertheless, I could not ask for a better mom. You've supported me all my life emotionally and materially. Please accept the fact of who I am. I try to change to suit your requirements, but I can only do so much. I'm freakin' 32 mom!! There's things I can change, there's things are stuck to me like glue. I cannot make you proud like Kak Long do, or please you like Ayu does, or make you feel at ease just by being present like adoi and abang.

If I'm granted a wish, I would wish to be slim just to make you happy.

If I can afford it, I would buy a man love to make you happy.

I would be a 4th wife just so I can give you 5g's a month, just to make you happy. Just so you dun have to work hard at this age. It's all children's dream to give their parents back wealth in return to the years of sacrifice and hardship.

All for you mom...but I'm sure that deep inside you would not want me to do something that will not make me happy kan?? Isn't that what mother's suppose to do?

And to my sister, please laaa...jangan suker jadie "fire stone". You know that's like a disease.... like a piece of splint that's stuck in you and remain there mencucuk-cucuk okeh!!!

Lots of love and kisses....


p/s - adakah hati aku relief?? a little bit yes...mamat kat coffee bean nie mesti ingat aku nie giler dari tadi asik lap mata aku yg berair nie...sensitive heart I have when it comes to my mom. I love her..I do..I just wish she would understand.