Thursday, October 12, 2006

Mom and Cooking

So it’s confirmed that Mom has Rheumatoid-Arthritis. Doctor says that modern technology has not found any cure for this disease. They can just ease the pain by giving steroids which may lead to other complications like BP, heart disease, kidney etc etc. Also to do lots of exercise or the right term is physiotherapy. Twice a day at least so that the joints would not stay stiff and lesser chances of cracked or broken bones if she takes a slight fall unintentionally. Mintak lah dijauhkan Allah..

She was warded for one night on the 9th for an observation. The Doctor just wants to see and monitor her conditions for that whole day and also introduced some other kind of exercise. Because Mom has BP Doctor has given her the mildest steroids to ease her pain. Steroids are steroids..what else is there to rank it?? Mom and we decided that she would not take the steroids unless she really really needs it.

*Salam to all Kakak2 and adik2. Mumy bole discharge esok, InsyaAllah. Dr Rheumatologist nak observe aje today. So no worries, she’s all right. Dapat gud rest. The condition of the ward is reasonably fine.*

That was the SMS big sis sends to all siblings, cousins and in laws. So much as expected I did not get that SMS from her, instead I got it from my SIL. I’m fine with the cold treatment and non-talking terms for now, it’s infact a relief… but not to include update on mom to me..that’s just so selfish of her. But it’s ok, I have my means and ways.

The Big sis brought her to see a Chinese Doctor in Putrajaya. We’ve decided to try alternative medicine. At this point of time we’re keeping our hopes high. She has now able to move her neck and look rather fresh after the treatment. It’s acupuncture treatment. Mom said poking of the needles is not painful but when the medicine travels along her nerves she can feel the pain which will numb her. This is a good sign according to the Sinseh. She must not feel pain throughout the treatment, she should feel numb.

For this week, I had 2rest days. I..Moi…actually cooked for iftar… Boleh ker?? How long have I left that cooking?? Can’t recall. I remembered taking over the kitchen when big sis left for the States to further her studies. Mom was a teacher then and Abah was already a pensioner. She left when I was 15yr/o. I was on morning session and mom was teaching at the afternoon session. I remembered vaguely cooking full meals everyday through out the year and I actually enjoyed it. I hated the cleaning part though. I guess that was what distances me from cooking later on in life..I hated the cleaning so much.

I learned how to cook masak kicap, asam pedas, soups and vegetables. I learned how to make cekodok ikan bilis, sardine rolls, fried noodles and also baked chocolate cakes, sandwiched cakes and kuih bakar. I think mom did teach me how to cook curry and gulai but it just did not registered into my brain. Anything with coconut in it, automatically gives me the difficult signal. Cakes and kuih bakar was for selling then. Cakes for me were for eating only, I don’t really like to baked, and I find it very tedious. But kuih bakar was my favorite, it was very easy, chucked everything in a blender and straight to the flowery shape container. At that time though I was still squeezing “santan” since the santan itself was not on sale yet except for the manufactured santan which is not delicious to use. But the waiting…waiting for it to baked fully was an agony. Lamer gilers woohhh… Couple of times I woken up to a hangus kuih bakar!!1 At that time we had 3 ovens and 18pcs at one go. It will take about 3hrs for all those 18pcs to become a finish product. Then cooling off time lagie, then packing it and hantar to kedai. But it was good money.

I stopped cooking as soon as I went to college. Mom was not like other mom, she dun really pester and say things like anak dara tak reti masak ker or things like that. But keeping the house clean, now that she’s particular. So off and on when she finishes her cooking I will do my part which is cleaning…terpaksa laaa. Sometimes there were times that I would not even know where all the rempah ratus are when we have other people cooking at home. Terukkan??

When I finished my studies, came back home and started my job, the more reason I have not to cook. Then I left for London. When you’re alone, all the things that mom teaches you and not the school subject becomes practical. I sometimes cook on my off days or simply grab my fav sandwiches at the nearest Marks. I have this Kakak whom I always hang out with on my off day..and we will eat our heart out on that day which is usually every week. Or if it’s pay day we will go to Oriental City or Naha to get our hands on the char koay teow and teh tarik. Sometimes I will get stuffs at China Town and will make a feast for the 2 of us. I remembered when we makan the belacan and ikan masin, the daughter will go with hands covering her nose..Mom…sooo smelly…I think the neighbor Kaka. And we’ll go..yeah I think so too sweetie. How I miss that little girl and her mom.

So on Tuesday I cooked Ayam Masak Kicap and sayur campur goreng. On Wednesday I cooked Ikan goreng masak sambal, sayur sup and also cekodok ikan bilis. Terasa la proud gilers hari tu..and I did the cleaning up too. I felt like SAHM those 2 days without the kids though. It was swell and tiring. Now I know that SAHM is not all about shaking legs all day. Respect to all the SAHM bloggers.

Now I’m back at the office. 2 goods days of cleaning and cooking..I think I will stick to working for now..this is what I do better.

Wednesday, October 04, 2006

Sibling SMS Drama...

You know when at one point of life where nothing else matters?? Where you live day in and day out only for HIM. Gone are the days where what others said matters to me. Any constructive critiscm I will definitely take and improve where, when and how I can and to those who criticizes pointlessly and endlessly just because they’re feeling high and mighty, PISSED OFF!!!

Afternoon chat on the phone with me Mom

Me – How are you today..feeling better..ader exercise tak??
Mom – Ok…ader..mummy buat
Me – Saper tu?? Anyone came by?
Mom – Blaaaa…blaaa.. blaaa.. came
Me – Ohh…ok mummy dah makan
Mom – Dah..tadi kak long bought for me fillet burger
Me – Ok..Mie, today I’ll be back a lil’ bit late yaaa…coz Hapiz’s wife gave birth, so nak pie jenguk la yer..
Mom – Ok..u better tell Kak Long
Me – Hmmm..err..ok

5 minutes to 8pm phone chat with Kak Long at the locker, just after my maghrib.

She – What time you’re coming back?
Me – Ohh..slightly late skit..I told mom already..I nak pie hospital see my friend who just gave birth.
She – *Sigh and look at me I’m talking to you tone* Look where is you priority?? Is your friend much important than mom??
Me - *Stunned* *Blood pressure naik* Eeehh..aper nie??? Org nak pie tgk my fren kat hospital jer and I already told mom.
She – friend is so important is it? Who’s going to do the physio with mom?
Me – Laaa..balik I’ll do laa..
She – will be too tired by then
Me – why can’t you do it for me then? *Raised voice* So you cannot do it when you come back at 9?
She – Ohhh..u know this is the problem with you… u always want to raised your voice when I tell you something.
Me – Because you don’t I’m asking you why you cannot do it at 9 when u come back?
She – Intan, I have to go to Terawih and I have my own home..
Me – Ohh…I see..own home..
She – You see?? You see?? That’s your problem!!! Semua kawan..all your friends..
Me – Is easy for you to say kan?? Because you now have a freakin’ husband!!

Slammed down the phone…

Ring again….refused to pick up… Bzzz..Bzzz… sms came in

The SMS drama begins…

She – Pikir sendiri mane yang lebih penting. Ibu atau kawan? And keep d answer to ur self.

Received and Read…Think…This time I’m not backing out….She will have a piece of my mind..

Me – Dan piker mane lebih penting seorg perempuan pergi solat at the mosque or at home with the mom especially when the husband not around. U think ok. I’m adjusting my life to the best I can, all I need is a little appreciation not a condemning word 4 everything that dun go your way.

She – U and ur attitude!! Semuga Allah tunjukkan jalan yg lurus. Wat time you get back will tell mummy ur priorities. Simple. Don ever question abt the absence of my husband. U don know wat yur talking abt.

Me – ATTITUDE? Look who’s talking, ms perfectionist n control freak n everything is yur way or no way. I know my priorities. If you find it difficult to do physio with mom 2nite, it’s ok then. At least now I know…

She – Suker hati kau la. Do ur way and enjoy it.

Me – Yeah..that’s d best..U do yur way n we do our way n we can stop harassing each other n be nice for mom n whatever years balance of our life ahead.

She – Patut la Adoi kata ur “gone case”. I defend u, but now I think I was wrong. Adoi was really right. Do wat u want n like and don’t be ungrateful.

Me – Defend me? Tq la if u did. Really appreciate it. N u know wht? Dun bother 2 say wht others said about me bcoz I dun care heck about it! Intan ingat pesanan abang intan, something good dun always end good n vice versa.

She – Suker ati la..Muga umur pjg to prove it..

Me – I dun need to prove anything 2 anyone n pretend 2b who I’m not! Suker hati lu nak kutuk ke nak per ke. Asalkan bahagia dan puas hati…

She – Jazakallahukhairankhathira. Assalamualaikum.

Me – Wajazakallaukhairan. Waalaikumsalam

Finally….the SMS drama ends…

I reached home about 10.30pm and popped into the kitchen. What did I see?? A whole big pile of dirty dish waiting for me to be wash..heeehh..talked about revenge ehh….And who broke fast at home tonite?? My younger sis and her husband and Big Sis prolly came in just before 8pm because of her work nature.

So none of them can actually wash those dirty piles because I HAD to do some work contributions for that day…

Laugh to myself and happily rolled up my sleeve and wash..wash…wash…

I had enough of her bitching and nagging…. For cryin’ out loud..people have feelings.. My baby sister is lucky now that she has a husband, she has all the right reason to get away from this nasty situation… I remembered before she was married, everytime she argued with the HER, she will say..

Long….don’t be condescending sgt laaa…. Org lain pun ader perasaan gak..

I’m counting my blessings with the family I have though, which if my SIS didn’t realized.. I don’t have any siblings who’s on drugs or have drinking problem or living off with the parents money..each and everyone of us are successful in our own way not necessarily monetary wise. Even with the fights that our parents went through and sometimes still happen now… my mom did not get physically abused by my dad and all of us turn out ok.. with an exception of me la agaknyer..since both my brother and sis that I’m a goner… whatever la….

Can I not question why she chose not to call my brother to come home from his 40days mission and share the responsibility of taking care of my mom? Is it because he is doing a noble cause and our work is just not so noble??

Spare my lack of knowledge in religious issues, but is it not the son’s responsibility to take care of the parents?

Her reason?? Ohhh..what can he do? He stays in Puchong, the kids goes to school so it’s difficult for him to come everyday.

Is it??? Reason…reason…reason…

How far is puchong from SA… prolly about 25minutes drive when there’s no traffic. Plus his wife is a SAHM. For the time being until things settle down or when the maid arrives, why can’t he stay in SA. He can drive the kids to school every morning and stay at that area since his office is also there, and at least the wife in my mom’s place can help to care of my mom… reasonable?? But can I suggest that??? Noooo…my brother and her husband is in such noble cause where mom is not the priority as per the Sis.

But it’s ok u know..friends giving birth vs 40days of noble mission...nothing in comparison…

My baby sis makes an effort to come on week days infact everyone of us makes this little efforts for our mom. But when someone comes in and think that she is the superior of all and does the bulk of it….guess how that will turn out..

Usually after this drama episodes I would usually cry..and ask myself what is it people wants me to do or to be then go to my mom, mom will pacify me by saying..

Dah laa…dah laaa..buat pekak jer…whatever it is she’s your big sister..remember that she has done a lot for you and all the adik-adik..…

So what about our contributions?? What about our contributions when she flew to State to further her degree not on scholar?? Did she knew the trouble that mom had to go through? What all of us went through…Pernah diungkit? No..

What about when she was working in Langkawi for 10years?? Have she asked what we did??

Yes I know I’m the bad apple of the family, but people changed… but they’re not expected to be like how we want them to be..can I ask for my younger sis to be a little bit like me or like the eldest sis? For heaven’s sake she’s 27 and married…let the husband deal with her!!!

But yesterday my mind was clear..and I don’t want to go crying to my mom..she’s already worried as she is now… I said what I needed to say and my conscience is clear..

So tell me all you BIG KAK LONG’S out there…Is it because you have done everything for all of us your “gone case” brats that we have to endure and tolerate your bossiness???

N/B :-

Intan – That’s me
Adoi – My 2nd and only brother left
40days mission – Tabligh brothers they are

Sunday, October 01, 2006

Ramadhan and Sacrifices

So much to write..too little time..but I must have some time for me. Because by blogging I find some therapeutic sense in me.

Lemme see..what has been going on in my life?? New job..moved back to my parents place...and...and that's it. Why the heck am i so out of time then??

First and foremost I would like to wish my fellow bloggers a blessed Ramadhan al mubarak. Since I've been out of the blog world for quite sometime, here's a list of those I like to wish individually..just so u know that I'm still around and been reading your fantabulous blogs!!


1. Anggerik Merah
2. Aunty N
3. Ayong
4. Azer Mantessa
5. Bertique
6. BTB Bro
7. Boogie
8. Blackfeline Sis
9. Bro Hero
10. Cosmic Gurl
11. Dayang Zone
12. Freex n Geex
13. Gab
14. Gravtkills
15. Bro Idham
16. Intan the SING Goddess
17. Isas
18. Itote
19. Jade aka Jar Miow
20. Jlop Jollie
21. Kak Teh
22. Kak Lady
23. Lollies the Doha Goddess
24. MadameRosse
25. Mak Andeh
26. Mak Lang
27. Mak Nenek
28. Mama Rock
29. Merapu Man
30. Nadia
31. Ninuk
32. NoreMourinho
33. Nour
34. NzN
35. Pak Adib
36. Pokku
37. Romancing The Stone
38. Sheryl
39. Sue Ixora
40. Sya the Kakak Bowling
41. TruBlue
42. Twisted Joe
43. Not forgetting..Kak Elle in SING & Kak Lady in SA

Not forgetting too my EFX2 buddies...

1. Dory
2. Elisa Taufik the Al-Khobar Goddess
3. FamyGirl
4. LazyDaisy79
5. Yes..lollies again..:)
6. Moonlite
7. Nadia
8. Nonah
9. Offlionandbear
10. OndeOnde
11.Primary Basic
12. Rotidua


If i've missed's not done forgive me..

I will always remember this Ramadhan. This will the first year my mom won't be able to cook for us. She's not feeling well. Since the wedding, she has gotten worst. She's practically invalid in terms of doing any house chores. Suspected Arthritis-Rheumatoid. The blood test will only be known on the 6th October. Deep inside I'm scared...If there's one thing that I'm losing my mom. No matter who irritating she can be in condemning my weight...she's my pillar of strength. When I was down she didn't gave up on me. She played the mother role I would say to almost perfect. I don't want a perfect mom..I'm now learning to appreciate my mom the way she is....

I usually will get home at almost Isya, greet her in the room. Sometimes she will be struggling to get up for the loo to take wudhu. I peep from outside quietly..sometimes I can hear her crying... I just kept far away. What can I do??

There's only my big sis and me. My big sis will rush home to prepare or buy food for buka puasa then back to work. She will come back after maghrib, clear the table, get ready for Isya then to Terawih. I'll be coming back just after Isya, head to the kitchen, clear the dirty plates in the sink then massage my mom or dressed her in her kaftan or just simply chat with her. Nowadays I will put on the infra light treatment for her frozen shoulders and joints, these will usually takes up to almost an hour concentrating to many parts of her joints. So while doing this I get to chat with her on things and hear her feelings...She's scared too..she's been far too independant..that not being able to get dress on her own makes her depressed. I'm grateful that I have an Aunt and her children who really cared about my mother. They send some food everyday to my mom, knowing that I won;t be home on time and my Sister only get food from the Pasar Ramadhan... Thank you Umi and Kakaks!!

While doing that, she will always say that she misses her grandchildren. My late bro usually brings them at least once a month to Shah Alam...Now?? It's not my perrogative... I hope my SIL will find some sense in her to do what my bro used to do especially's hard for all...that's for sure..but that's the least I can matter how much I will never measure up to what my mom have done for me through out my life. My younger sis, drove up yesterday with her husband after hearing my mom's voice on the phone. She's in pain, she's scared, she feels helpless..

I help her dressed

I help her with her food

I help to get out of the car

I help her to get up from the bed

I help her ease her pain by rubbing heat ointment on her crinkled skin..yet natural

I'm actually doing the house chores...

But my SISTER sacrificed the most though... Now that I know she had been crying for quite sometimes..frustrated with her siblings attitude.. where's my 2nd bro?? He's out for 40 days since 16 Syaaban for his yearly mission. Shouldn't he be with his mom instead?? his responsibility now..he's the only son left..It's not my call..but I know deep inside my sister and especially my mom is sad. He should be with his family or in this case my mom and share this moment together..I'm not going to call it a burden..because for once in my life I'm doing something for my mom..something that comes naturally..not because I have to. Yeah..I can be a pain in the neck sometime...whenever she says the wrong washing the toilet it's not a chores...she's just frustrated I guess.

Mommy, I know I never said this enuff, I love you..I hope you will be better soon...I promised to do my level best for you...

Maybe there's a reason after all me not being married yet..there's a reason why I got this new job nearer to home, why my off day now it's no longer Sunday and it's weekday where I can drive my mom wherever she wants to go, why this...why that...but one thing I wonder but why?? why my brother??

All she has left to remember him besides the memories and her pain when delivering him is his wooden chair which he brought back from his uni ages ago and he's 5 juniors..which she rarely sees...

While going through this I'm remembering how my friend down south deals with this. She's in much greater situation that I am in. Thank you for indirectly giving me the mental and emotional preparations.

For now..I'm anxiously waiting for the blood test result...

Oh..Allah please make it simple..don't make it difficult...