Sibling SMS Drama...

You know when at one point of life where nothing else matters?? Where you live day in and day out only for HIM. Gone are the days where what others said matters to me. Any constructive critiscm I will definitely take and improve where, when and how I can and to those who criticizes pointlessly and endlessly just because they’re feeling high and mighty, PISSED OFF!!!

Afternoon chat on the phone with me Mom

Me – How are you today..feeling better..ader exercise tak??
Mom – Ok…ader..mummy buat
Me – Saper tu?? Anyone came by?
Mom – Blaaaa…blaaa.. blaaa.. came
Me – Ohh…ok mummy dah makan
Mom – Dah..tadi kak long bought for me fillet burger
Me – Ok..Mie, today I’ll be back a lil’ bit late yaaa…coz Hapiz’s wife gave birth, so nak pie jenguk la yer..
Mom – Ok..u better tell Kak Long
Me – Hmmm..err..ok

5 minutes to 8pm phone chat with Kak Long at the locker, just after my maghrib.

She – What time you’re coming back?
Me – Ohh..slightly late skit..I told mom already..I nak pie hospital see my friend who just gave birth.
She – *Sigh and look at me I’m talking to you tone* Look where is you priority?? Is your friend much important than mom??
Me - *Stunned* *Blood pressure naik* Eeehh..aper nie??? Org nak pie tgk my fren kat hospital jer and I already told mom.
She – Oohh..you friend is so important is it? Who’s going to do the physio with mom?
Me – Laaa..balik I’ll do laa..
She – Ohh..mom will be too tired by then
Me – Ok..so why can’t you do it for me then? *Raised voice* So you cannot do it when you come back at 9?
She – Ohhh..u know this is the problem with you… u always want to raised your voice when I tell you something.
Me – Because you don’t listen..now I’m asking you why you cannot do it at 9 when u come back?
She – Intan, I have to go to Terawih and I have my own home..
Me – Ohh…I see..own home..
She – You see?? You see?? That’s your problem!!! Semua kawan..all your friends..
Me – Is easy for you to say kan?? Because you now have a freakin’ husband!!

Slammed down the phone…

Ring again….refused to pick up… Bzzz..Bzzz… sms came in

The SMS drama begins…

She – Pikir sendiri mane yang lebih penting. Ibu atau kawan? And keep d answer to ur self.

Received and Read…Think…This time I’m not backing out….She will have a piece of my mind..

Me – Dan piker mane lebih penting seorg perempuan pergi solat at the mosque or at home with the mom especially when the husband not around. U think ok. I’m adjusting my life to the best I can, all I need is a little appreciation not a condemning word 4 everything that dun go your way.

She – U and ur attitude!! Semuga Allah tunjukkan jalan yg lurus. Wat time you get back will tell mummy ur priorities. Simple. Don ever question abt the absence of my husband. U don know wat yur talking abt.

Me – ATTITUDE? Look who’s talking, ms perfectionist n control freak n everything is yur way or no way. I know my priorities. If you find it difficult to do physio with mom 2nite, it’s ok then. At least now I know…

She – Suker hati kau la. Do ur way and enjoy it.

Me – Yeah..that’s d best..U do yur way n we do our way n we can stop harassing each other n be nice for mom n whatever years balance of our life ahead.

She – Patut la Adoi kata ur “gone case”. I defend u, but now I think I was wrong. Adoi was really right. Do wat u want n like and don’t be ungrateful.

Me – Defend me? Tq la if u did. Really appreciate it. N u know wht? Dun bother 2 say wht others said about me bcoz I dun care heck about it! Intan ingat pesanan abang intan, something good dun always end good n vice versa.

She – Suker ati la..Muga umur pjg to prove it..

Me – I dun need to prove anything 2 anyone n pretend 2b who I’m not! Suker hati lu nak kutuk ke nak per ke. Asalkan bahagia dan puas hati…

She – Jazakallahukhairankhathira. Assalamualaikum.

Me – Wajazakallaukhairan. Waalaikumsalam

Finally….the SMS drama ends…

I reached home about 10.30pm and popped into the kitchen. What did I see?? A whole big pile of dirty dish waiting for me to be wash..heeehh..talked about revenge ehh….And who broke fast at home tonite?? My younger sis and her husband and Big Sis prolly came in just before 8pm because of her work nature.

So none of them can actually wash those dirty piles because I HAD to do some work contributions for that day…

Laugh to myself and happily rolled up my sleeve and wash..wash…wash…

I had enough of her bitching and nagging…. For cryin’ out loud..people have feelings.. My baby sister is lucky now that she has a husband, she has all the right reason to get away from this nasty situation… I remembered before she was married, everytime she argued with the HER, she will say..

Long….don’t be condescending sgt laaa…. Org lain pun ader perasaan gak..

I’m counting my blessings with the family I have though, which if my SIS didn’t realized.. I don’t have any siblings who’s on drugs or have drinking problem or living off with the parents money..each and everyone of us are successful in our own way not necessarily monetary wise. Even with the fights that our parents went through and sometimes still happen now… my mom did not get physically abused by my dad and all of us turn out ok.. with an exception of me la agaknyer..since both my brother and sis that I’m a goner… whatever la….

Can I not question why she chose not to call my brother to come home from his 40days mission and share the responsibility of taking care of my mom? Is it because he is doing a noble cause and our work is just not so noble??

Spare my lack of knowledge in religious issues, but is it not the son’s responsibility to take care of the parents?

Her reason?? Ohhh..what can he do? He stays in Puchong, the kids goes to school so it’s difficult for him to come everyday.

Is it??? Reason…reason…reason…

How far is puchong from SA… prolly about 25minutes drive when there’s no traffic. Plus his wife is a SAHM. For the time being until things settle down or when the maid arrives, why can’t he stay in SA. He can drive the kids to school every morning and stay at that area since his office is also there, and at least the wife in my mom’s place can help to care of my mom… reasonable?? But can I suggest that??? Noooo…my brother and her husband is in such noble cause where mom is not the priority as per the Sis.

But it’s ok u know..friends giving birth vs 40days of noble mission...nothing in comparison…

My baby sis makes an effort to come on week days infact everyone of us makes this little efforts for our mom. But when someone comes in and think that she is the superior of all and does the bulk of it….guess how that will turn out..

Usually after this drama episodes I would usually cry..and ask myself what is it people wants me to do or to be then go to my mom, mom will pacify me by saying..

Dah laa…dah laaa..buat pekak jer…whatever it is she’s your big sister..remember that she has done a lot for you and all the adik-adik..…

So what about our contributions?? What about our contributions when she flew to State to further her degree not on scholar?? Did she knew the trouble that mom had to go through? What all of us went through…Pernah diungkit? No..

What about when she was working in Langkawi for 10years?? Have she asked what we did??

Yes I know I’m the bad apple of the family, but people changed… but they’re not expected to be like how we want them to be..can I ask for my younger sis to be a little bit like me or like the eldest sis? For heaven’s sake she’s 27 and married…let the husband deal with her!!!

But yesterday my mind was clear..and I don’t want to go crying to my mom..she’s already worried as she is now… I said what I needed to say and my conscience is clear..

So tell me all you BIG KAK LONG’S out there…Is it because you have done everything for all of us your “gone case” brats that we have to endure and tolerate your bossiness???

N/B :-

Intan – That’s me
Adoi – My 2nd and only brother left
40days mission – Tabligh brothers they are

Ramadhan and Sacrifices

So much to write..too little time..but I must have some time for me. Because by blogging I find some therapeutic sense in me.

Lemme see..what has been going on in my life?? New job..moved back to my parents place...and...and that's it. Why the heck am i so out of time then??

First and foremost I would like to wish my fellow bloggers a blessed Ramadhan al mubarak. Since I've been out of the blog world for quite sometime, here's a list of those I like to wish individually..just so u know that I'm still around and been reading your fantabulous blogs!!

WISHES GOES TO...

1. Anggerik Merah
2. Aunty N
3. Ayong
4. Azer Mantessa
5. Bertique
6. BTB Bro
7. Boogie
8. Blackfeline Sis
9. Bro Hero
10. Cosmic Gurl
11. Dayang Zone
12. Freex n Geex
13. Gab
14. Gravtkills
15. Bro Idham
16. Intan the SING Goddess
17. Isas
18. Itote
19. Jade aka Jar Miow
20. Jlop Jollie
21. Kak Teh
22. Kak Lady
23. Lollies the Doha Goddess
24. MadameRosse
25. Mak Andeh
26. Mak Lang
27. Mak Nenek
28. Mama Rock
29. Merapu Man
30. Nadia
31. Ninuk
32. NoreMourinho
33. Nour
34. NzN
35. Pak Adib
36. Pokku
37. Romancing The Stone
38. Sheryl
39. Sue Ixora
40. Sya the Kakak Bowling
41. TruBlue
42. Twisted Joe
43. Not forgetting..Kak Elle in SING & Kak Lady in SA

Not forgetting too my EFX2 buddies...

1. Dory
2. Elisa Taufik the Al-Khobar Goddess
3. FamyGirl
4. LazyDaisy79
5. Yes..lollies again..:)
6. Moonlite
7. Nadia
8. Nonah
9. Offlionandbear
10. OndeOnde
11.Primary Basic
12. Rotidua

And, in case I can't keep up with the blog world..SELAMAT HARI RAYA AIDILFITRI, MAAF ZAHIR DAN BATIN....SEMOGA AIDILFITRI INI LEBIH MEMBERI MAKNA KEPADA SEMUA...

If i've missed anyone...it's not done intentionally..do forgive me..

I will always remember this Ramadhan. This will the first year my mom won't be able to cook for us. She's not feeling well. Since the wedding, she has gotten worst. She's practically invalid in terms of doing any house chores. Suspected Arthritis-Rheumatoid. The blood test will only be known on the 6th October. Deep inside I'm scared...If there's one thing that I'm afraid..is losing my mom. No matter who irritating she can be in condemning my weight...she's my pillar of strength. When I was down she didn't gave up on me. She played the mother role I would say to almost perfect. I don't want a perfect mom..I'm now learning to appreciate my mom the way she is....

I usually will get home at almost Isya, greet her in the room. Sometimes she will be struggling to get up for the loo to take wudhu. I peep from outside quietly..sometimes I can hear her crying... I just kept far away. What can I do??

There's only my big sis and me. My big sis will rush home to prepare or buy food for buka puasa then back to work. She will come back after maghrib, clear the table, get ready for Isya then to Terawih. I'll be coming back just after Isya, head to the kitchen, clear the dirty plates in the sink then massage my mom or dressed her in her kaftan or just simply chat with her. Nowadays I will put on the infra light treatment for her frozen shoulders and joints, these will usually takes up to almost an hour concentrating to many parts of her joints. So while doing this I get to chat with her on things and hear her feelings...She's scared too..she's been far too independant..that not being able to get dress on her own makes her depressed. I'm grateful that I have an Aunt and her children who really cared about my mother. They send some food everyday to my mom, knowing that I won;t be home on time and my Sister only get food from the Pasar Ramadhan... Thank you Umi and Kakaks!!

While doing that, she will always say that she misses her grandchildren. My late bro usually brings them at least once a month to Shah Alam...Now?? It's not my perrogative... I hope my SIL will find some sense in her to do what my bro used to do especially now...it's hard for all...that's for sure..but that's the least I can do...no matter how much I do..it will never measure up to what my mom have done for me through out my life. My younger sis, drove up yesterday with her husband after hearing my mom's voice on the phone. She's in pain, she's scared, she feels helpless..

I help her dressed

I help her with her food

I help to get out of the car

I help her to get up from the bed

I help her ease her pain by rubbing heat ointment on her crinkled skin..yet natural

I'm actually doing the house chores...

But my SISTER sacrificed the most though... Now that I know she had been crying for quite sometimes..frustrated with her siblings attitude.. where's my 2nd bro?? He's out for 40 days since 16 Syaaban for his yearly mission. Shouldn't he be with his mom instead??..is his responsibility now..he's the only son left..It's not my call..but I know deep inside my sister and especially my mom is sad. He should be with his family or in this case my mom and share this moment together..I'm not going to call it a burden..because for once in my life I'm doing something for my mom..something that comes naturally..not because I have to. Yeah..I can be a pain in the neck sometime...whenever she says the wrong thing..like washing the toilet it's not a chores...she's just frustrated I guess.

Mommy, I know I never said this enuff, I love you..I hope you will be better soon...I promised to do my level best for you...

Maybe there's a reason after all me not being married yet..there's a reason why I got this new job nearer to home, why my off day now it's no longer Sunday and it's weekday where I can drive my mom wherever she wants to go, why this...why that...but one thing I wonder but redha..is why?? why my brother??

All she has left to remember him besides the memories and her pain when delivering him is his wooden chair which he brought back from his uni ages ago and he's 5 juniors..which she rarely sees...

While going through this I'm remembering how my friend down south deals with this. She's in much greater situation that I am in. Thank you for indirectly giving me the mental and emotional preparations.

For now..I'm anxiously waiting for the blood test result...

Oh..Allah please make it simple..don't make it difficult...

ONE in a million

Predicted,

Anticipated,

The moment she was brought back after elimination, I was 90% sure she will be the winner. No doubt…

Sadly, Malaysians still votes based on “I like her/him” factor rather than on QUALITY AND ORIGINALITY.

Congratulations to SUKI…… not that she didn’t deserve the million nuggets but I STRONGLY believe that it should have been gone to FAIZAL!!!!

He’s Da’Man….

Western reality shows has proven to me that their audience has better judgement, I’ve seen winner who won because she/he was the darling of the crowds and winner who really really deserved to win. Unfortunately from all the reality TV shows produced locally, I’ve yet to see the latter winner.

Even the judges comments unable to increase votes or change the mind set.

SUKI might have won the million bucks but FAIZAL will get million offers and not forgetting ALIFF who will gain million extra fans from that butt act…

Goodbye Old Dame...

Sometimes I think there's a reason why this Sunday will be my last weekend off.

As just like other Sunday, on my off day I like to laze around to the max. Today as I jump downstairs happily at about 5pm...my Kak Long ask me this...

She - Have you asked yourself what is your contribution for the day?

Me - I wash the toilet.

She - Your own toilet...

Me - Since when that toilet is not part of the home??

And to save her lots of humiliation in front of her newly wed husband.. I ran back upstairs and locked myself in the room. Since I'm not contributing anything..I might as well stay in the room and bloghopped.

What about my daily contributions?? Don't that count.. Single pun susah.... Stay at home pun susah... It's so hard to please people...

Also I remembered that 2 nites ago she presented with an LV wallet for my birthday, not wanting to sound ungrateful and saying nasty things...I better stay away..... Dier yg kawin aku pun kena macam dah kawin gak...at least she gets legal humpin' in return....me?? God ..let me stay sober...

Me not having Sunday off will do me good....

---------------------------------------------------------------

Dear XXX,

Noted, perhelp your phone not go to the voice mail.

C.B

Dear Mr C.B,

Warm Greetings from F & B Sales Office !
Kindly inform your staff in Front Office not to direct any inquiries or
reservations call to LL as most of the time she will be out of
the hotel unless the guests specifically ask for her. Kindly direct all
calls to me or Mr Boss. Thank you

Best Regards,
XXX
F & B Sales Coordinator

"perhelp you phone not go to the voice mail" ???? Can u report to anyone who writes like this??? All I can do now is laugh..God help him..honestly.....


On 26th Sept 2006 I bid goodbye to her. Having rested comfortably within her serene nest for 20months, of course leaving her makes me feels tinge of sadness.

Just look at the greenery surrounding above, is like you’re not in the city. But indeed it is right smack in the middle of our busy town. Too bad that I did not take the opportunity to use her track for this flabby fats…. What a waste. Well u know what they say, when u have them, u dun appreciate them..that’s my biggest problem.

I had lunch the day before by the invitation of the lady boss herself. She asked what will it be? You fancy the local or some western?? I replied..no doubt the western of course.. where else can I eat crème brulee for free and also lobster ala French and some other tongue twister menu.

So we had lunch, we talked about a lot, about why I’m leaving, to where, what was I doing before etc… great lady..very young and already the Hotel Manager. I had to absolutely of course mentioned my push factor for resigning which is because of the Mr Perasan Bagus!!! Apparently she’s having headache about him too. Break a leg… I said.

I’ve got a big bouquet of flowers during my last morning briefing. Then I got a nice Faber Castell pen from my staff. 2 branded lipsticks from my florist. On the 24th, my staff organized a farewell party for me and almost all the staff came so I said my goodbyes to almost all..I hope. It was at 3pm, perfect timing because it was change of shift time.

Then, the admin and finance peeps organized a nice lunch for me at tupai2. Yummeh… and this was also on the 24th…so imagine the amount of food I had stuffed in my belly that day. Hehhh..hehhh..like I have a problem with it. Moi? Problem with eating delicious food??? Errr….not in this life time.

Tonight, the management organized another farewell party for me at Saujana. I had a wonderful time. This time it was the at Senja Restaurant. Fabulous Italian cuisine. And then we headed straight to RP. The hotel club. Ohh….did I mentioned that I had to give a speech and also sang a song?? Yes I did, I sang “Honesty” When the resident band pestered me for a song, I was like..“Honestly, I’m not sure” and she heard “Honesty”. She signaled the pianist and find a chord for my voice…cheeehh..cam real jer.. and there I went. I can almost piss in my pants… whoa..gabra sehhhh…kalau karaoke cabuk jer boleh laaa.. anyway I sailed thru. Pheww…

The night ended at RP. I was happy, sad at the same time and nervous on the prospect of coping with my new job. Huge..huge responsibility… lesser capacity than current post but very compact job description. I’m a trouble shooter so called..I fix things i.e attitude. Muaaahaahaaa…I hope I can fix mine before I start.

Bahasa Jiwa Bangsa

This is a long overdue post..i think i wrote this for the already over Merdeka day...well better late than never. I can't even remember which Sunday that I saw FFM19. It's definately not the past 2 weeks though because life has been hectic. I have like 5 entries in my draft, which is not fully complete... coz I get too tired easily nowadays....oohh..man..i really need a booster.. whatever that come across my mind and I dun have the pc in front of me, i will scribble it, so i can input it later..

so wht did i miss? a merdeka wishes to all and thanks also for all the birthday wishes...u know who u are..and i luv y'all

well, read thru and wait for more to come.... and to those that kept coming...tks so much...and i will make my way thru your blog soon... insyaAllah


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I managed to watch the rerun of FFM19 on Sunday. I came across the show half- way through and decided to switch channels in between just so I can catch the much said"I feel stupid speaking malay" controversy.

Bahasa jiwa bangsa, I don't consider myself cakap speaking berabuk kaa..or whatsoever but depending on situations yes i can speak like a londoner not cockney yaaa..though i can swear in cockney fluently or speak like americanish gitu. I tend to adjust myself automatically to suit each individual. Not because I want to please them or nak tunjuk perasan bagus kaa but simply because I'm comfortable with it. When I speak to my gardeners at work, automatically my bahasa melayu jadi bahasa indon. Does that make me a less berjiwa bangsa? What do u think?

I think this young actress is full of dynamic, full of spirit, full of everything for that matter that she forget by being bold with words in the Malaysian public has it's stake. She's just so bold that she forget that, that night was FFM19 not the Emmy Awards. She wants to be outspoken without preparing her self with the right words and the crowd expectation. I'm pretty sure what she meant that night was, "i'm comfortable in delivering my speech in english". It would be less controversial but it will still spark some uneasiness among people. Biasa la tekak rakyat malaysia nie sentiasa ada benda yg nak dipertikaikan. As I mentioned couple of times, we're one creative nation. Macam-macam ada!!! So Nani girl don't be sad, last year you were shivering on stage but this year you're a totally different, very gutsy..errr.. i didn't watch last year FFM's but that was what mentioned. So that is a good transformation, it shows that you have matured and will keep on doing just that and along the way you will face all sorts of obstacles and that's life.. so keep up the good work.

I don't write as good as I was in the school..mind you that is about 13years ago. Paper 1 english I will snore after merely and hour or so then I'll start to annoy others by banging the table with the pencil, Paper 2, I will be so engrossed in writing my composition fiction-please begin your composition with this sentence...oohh..those were my favorites. Kencing...kencing...and kencing...tks to virginia andrews and sidney sheldon..hehh..hehhh

I used to read a lot since young. Apart from the much forced piano lesson I have to attend, the much loved ballet lesson and the whishhh and whuuussshhh of swimming lesson I always find time to read. I'll read all sort of things, from fiction, encyclopedia, dictionary, story of the prophets and magazines. What's my favourite?? Hardy Boys, Nancy Drew, Noddy, Tin tan, Sweet Dreams collections, M&B and I read my first Virginia Andrews - The Dollaganger Family when I was 9. I read in the car, I read while accompanying my mom kat Kompleks PKNS SA tu jual carpet, I read kat party tupperware dan di segala party MLM business..arcopal, arcoroc, cosway, tokway..pyrex...pheww!!! I read before sleeping infact I read everything except my text books. Ohh..those were the boring ones. I remembered when I was 10 or 11, I got really bad results in my exam that I packed my back and ran away from home with my BMX. The first place my mom look was at the then "Berita Book Centre-BBC" at PKNS and guess who she found?? Yours truly... Well at least for that particular exam I did not get a whip on my palm....oucchh sakit wooo.. Than at one point after form 5 I completely stop reading..goshh I dunno why?? I regretted that. Me being introduced to this blog land have made me realised that I've missed a whole lot of things in life..simple thing such as reading a book, taking time off for myself and appreciating people around me i.e family and friends.

The only subject that I scored constant disinction since std 1 was English. I wonder why I did not take up TESL or sumthin similar..or kept on reading, I would have been able to write beautifully like my goddess friend. Ohh..I so envy her..magnificent style she has..and her song....beautifully written. But she is in everyway and every inch is Malaysian and she swears on that.. kann..kannn?? Melayu kapak gilersss.. just like me..

Sometime ago when I was a teenager I asked my mom,

Me - Mie, why the chinese student of yours can score straight for BM and I can't?

Mom - Because, the malay think, just because we speak malay and we're born with it, we can ace the subject. The chinese on the other hand think, to compete with the malay in getting a spot in the uni they have to ace this subject and because it's not their mother tongue they learn it the straight way - via the text book.

Me - I think I can write a good karangan..

Mom - Ok..go and write and then you compare it with my student's paper.

*Mom was teaching in a chinese school.


What a shame..my BM for spm was only C5..cukup2 makan..malu sehhh..dgn non-malay yg lain..almost all distinction. Should I be proud that I aced English??

Orang selalu tanyer..ehh..camner yer u pandai cakap english?? eehh..pandai ker?? i imitate jer pandai..pastuh byk tengok tv..maser kecik2 dulu tengok mcgyver, the a team, star wars, V, dan sumer sitcom i.e happy days, punky brewster, family ties, eight is enough, growing pains and macam2 lagie la..damn!!! what's that sitcom malcolm jamal was in...oohh..that famous actor..arrgghh...and also that sitcom with the shorty black guy..aiyaaaa...now it's killing me..tolong..i will not sleep soundly for this....

Okehh that should be my first instance nyer answer.

Then I will say, READ. Read as much as you can and keep a pocket dictionary next to you always. Read also the daily newspaper. I was lucky that my parents thot that having daily newspaper send to the house is important when we were kids. Now?? none of my married siblings house ader subscribe from the mamak paper. Kesian mamak tu?? Can't blame them..the papers nowadays are full of craps..time has changed. But like someone has said before, paparazzi only write what people want to read, so if there's demand on crap issues so crap issues is what we'll get.


Now with the topsy turvy grammars, silly spelling errors, wrong way of writing sentence i.e verb, adjective, verb to be etc..I'm starting to write anyway. I've spend considerable amount of money at MPH that will last me till the end of the year I hope. I make a point to read a page or two before I go into my lala land, I read during heavy traffic and I'll keep on reading. And I will keep on writing my blog in english or campur and not in full BM. Not because I feel stupid, simply because I'm comfortable with it and I look up at people who writes in BM...they have my utmost respect..simply because, I'm not as good as them in doing so.

For the coming National Day, here wishing all of you out there..Selamat Hari Merdeka ke 49!!! May we have more merdeka to come... merdeka to write how we want, to speak how we like and to sing when we want without being judge.

I'm every inch Malaysian and I'm proud of it. But I would like to stay in London because I can put on my nice charity shop trench coat in winter, wear my not a 2nd hand trainers during summer and clickety clack my sexy black boots during spring and breathe the nice smell breeze of autumm leaves.

Yes..people...c'mon, hit me mate..hit me!!!