Unpredictables

Like the unpredictable morning highway traffic, my life too has been bumpy and unpredictable especially for the last 5 years.

I did not predict in my early childhood that I will be working abroad alone as soon as I past my quarter of decade birthday. But I did.

I did not predict that at this age I will still be single and no kids, because only that who knows me knows how much I love em’. And I’m still single.

I did not predict that I will lost my brother at his early age of 36, I always thought that all of us will at least grow ripe together and not until I’m married the elder siblings will keep bugging me because to their mind I’m a gone case. But he went away without notice.

I did not predict that my innocent looking Sister in Law whom we love dearly, who knew my late brother until his time of death was 23years in which 13 was their married life will re-marry in less than a year after his death. A sister unlike my 2 other rebellious sisters whom I thought will forever love my brother dearly, whom I thought won’t ever disobey her parents, but she did. She got married far away on the east coast without her parents consent. Yes she did. Apakah pesanan arwah yang masih terngiang-ngiang di telinga on that last Friday? Jagalah maruah dia. Thank you sis, thank you kerana menjatuhkan maruah abang saya dan tolong jangan jadikan alasan bahawasanya Abang telah meninggalkan wasiat kepada Ustaz itu to marry you dan juga jangan jadikan anak-anak sebagai alasan. It’s sad to see that there’s no place in your heart saying it’s not ok to be no 2. I would have not imagine in a million years that you have a heart to rip another woman and 2 young kids happiness just to fulfill yours. But you just did it.

Zahin, my first nephew cried and cried while my sister and brother spoke to him about situations. He's only 12... I wish I was there when they spoke to him. It was important that he knows that despite all the things happening, he can always come to Abah's family for help and that nothing will change, our love will be the same..he's a victim of the situation. I feel his tears even in my absence. At least at the age of 12 I had a father, I'm sure he did not predict that Abah will only be around during the first 11years of his life and before reaching 13, he will have a step father. But it happen...

I never thought my mom would be diagnose with RA at an early age of 63. Never came across my mind that she would never again cook for us that delicious home cooking. All we can get from her now is instructions on how to cook a dish and despite the right ingredients and methods I still don’t get her taste, her passion, her aroma…..somehow or rather my satisfaction is not fulfilled. But I thank my sister for cooking us that scrumptious meal for Raya. Great effort sis.. I would not be able to cook all those meals, even if I tried.

One thing I’m sure and predicted is that my Abah won’t change. I was alone when I fisrt saw the Petronas advert for Raya..I cried buckets.. I had no one that I can share this moment with. The next day I told my mom about it...Sometimes after Isya, I got a text.."dah tengok..mum and me nangis wooo" I ran downstairs to see my sis and mum..sedihkan mie?? hahaaa..tu la uncle helmi cousin abah tu..ooo no wonder he looks familiar. But what I'm trying to point here is..I dun want to do that to my Abah..no matter how he was or is to us. Sometimes people outside the family do not understand our situation. Abah can be so nice to strangers but have a never ending revenge towards his family. For the whole month of Holy Ramadan despite doing the saum and terawih all he has in words for our cousin is how nasty is his children and wife and the unimaginable cursed. Bukankah kata-kata seorang bapa itu adalah satu doa? I hope one day Allah will show him the right path and that we’re not as bad as he think and mommy is a good mom and wife. For now, my siblings and I will do our level best to entertain him and at the same time take care the jewel of the family.

Life’s so unpredictable or almost all of it are. Despite all this I’m counting my blessing for having a mother and father, for having sisters to argue with at the same time knowing that I can count on them in my time of needs, for having a brother to listen on when I need a listening ear and not “I told you so”, for having 7 wonderful nephews and nieces, for having wonderful friends online and not online, for finally having a job that I’m happy with though I think I should earn more, for being born a Muslim though I have lots of catching up to do, for the only 1 ex I had who taught me what love and relationship is all about… and for all those wonderful memories sweet and sour of my life.

My life would be meaningless without it and the people around me, past, present and future.

Thank you..thank you..syukran..jazakallahukhairan….

Till my next entry I would like to end this with my usual better late than never wishes,

Selamat Hari Raya & Maaf Zahir Batin to all my fellow bloggers and readers.. errr..ader kerr??


1. Anggerik Merah
2. Aunty N
3. Ayong
4. Azer Mantessa
5. Bertique
6. BTB Bro
7. Boogie
8. Blackfeline Sis
9. Bro Hero
10. Cosmic Gurl
11. Dayang Zone
12. Freex n Geex
13. Gab
14. Gravtkills
15. Bro Idham
16. Intan the SING Goddess
17. Isas
18. Itote
19. Jade aka Jar Miow
20. Jlop Jollie
21. Kak Teh
22. Kak Lady
23. Lollies the Doha Goddess
24. MadameRosse
25. Mak Andeh
26. Mak Lang
27. Mak Nenek
28. Mama Rock
29. Merapu Man
30. Nadia
31. Ninuk
32. NoreMourinho
33. Nour
34. NzN
35. Pak Adib
36. Pokku
37. Romancing The Stone
38. Sheryl
39. Sue Ixora
40. Sya the Kakak Bowling
41. TruBlue
42. Twisted Joe
43. Not forgetting..Kak Elle in SING & Kak Lady in SA

Not forgetting too my EFX2 buddies...

1. Dory
2. Elisa Taufik the Al-Khobar Goddess
3. FamyGirl
4. LazyDaisy79
5. Yes..lollies again..:)
6. Moonlite
7. Nadia
8. Nonah
9. Offlionandbear
10. OndeOnde
11.Primary Basic
12. Rotidua


A sms that I send before Eid which was not invented by me, but I kinda like the words.

Ada saat
Mata silap melihat
Telinga salah mendengar
Lidah terlanjur berkata
Fikiran khilaf menafsir
&
Hati silap menduga

Mohon maaf dan ampun sempena Syawal yang mulia