Hectic....hectic....

Can't wait for the week to be over... it's not over yet and I'm like already walking like a zombie at work. Patience..patience... full room full functions..oh Allah..gimme the strength, please do not give an "auta lebih" guest...pleezzzzzzzzz..... let this weekend be a breeze one indeed.

can't think no more..can't type no more..i'm just soooo knackered!!!!

Expectations

Everyone of us has expectations. Expectations towards people we love and ourselves. I guess it is always easier to deal with our own expectations than to deal with the expectations of others have on us. The thing about expectations is to keep on doing it until you've reach that degree of satisfaction and not stopping half way just because someone say so. Will we be label a loser if we don't succed in satisfying ours or others expectations?

For me the answer is plain no. Though it took me couple of long odd years to realised that. For donkey years I've tried in vain to live up to others expectations let alone mine. I will get all uptight and think I'm a total failure. And when I feel this, my self confidence will sunked in me and I will feel like a piece of useless shit. Why? All because I failed to live up to others expectations. It's always my priority to see that others are well taken care off and let my inner self suffer in silence.

But thanks to friends I have on the many many interesting blogs, I've gained my confidence bit by bit. I'm a silent and/or active reader to many super duper blogs that are being written by honest, great and sincere people. People who are in real life are strangers to me..I might be in the same mall with them or at the red traffic light and not knowing that they're the ones who've motivated me directly or indirectly .

When I came back from Umrah almost everyone expects me to cover my hair. Though I clearly know this is an obligatory to a muslimah, I still came back as how I was before physically. Mentally, I've grown to be a less hot-tempered person, willingly accepted my lot in life, always searching for a better way to improve myself physically, mentally and spiritually and just be happy. Everything that don't turned out the way I want it to be, I see it as a blessing as disguise. Plus I don't want to live with too many if's in life. I think that's very negative. Of course the if's should not go beyond my being a muslim. Which I never really bothered before.

I guess what I'm trying to say here is, I'm just happy with my returning as an improved and better muslim in relating to my uncanny Umrah trip. And I pray to Allah that He'll prolonged my life here on earth, long enough to repent all my past sins and work on being a good muslimah, up to my expectations of course....

Exorcism deception

I got a call from my staff. Goes somethin' like this.
N-Kak, kalau Datuk carik saya cakap tak tau kat maner la ok..
(Sis, if Datuk call looking for me, can you tell him i'm no where to be found)

M-Apsal?
(Why?)

N-Alaaa..tok bomoh tipu tu dah datang, malas la....nak buat cam smalam.
(Alaa..the so called traditional healer is here...forget it..i'm not gonna do the same as last night)
M-eemmm..ok

And minutes after, i got a call from my Supervisor.
AR- Kak, Datuk kall cari N suh dtg jumper dier urgent, tapi N tak mau jumper? Camner nie?(Sis, Datuk looking for N and I've called him and he refused to go. What should I tell Datuk?
M-Ok, I'll handle this.

And I called N.

M-N, Datuk carik kau nie, pi la jumper dier tgk aper nak?
(N, Datuk is looking for you. Why don't you go over and see what he needs?
N-Agghh..kak, saya tau dier nak aper..nanti suh jadie org tengah lagi..tak mau laaa.. lagipun keja banyak..hujan lagi..basah saner sini..toilet kotor....
(Agghhh...sis. Please I know what he wants. He wants me to be the mediator again. I'm not going to do it. Anyway there's lotsa things to be done, it's raining and wet all over and the toilets are in a mess.
M-Eemmm..ok la..nanti aku call.
(Eemm..ok i'll make the call)

And instead fo calling Datuk himself, I called F/O.

M-Siti can you please get Datuk on his mobile and tell him that N is very busy at the moment and he would not make it. Please find someone else.
Siti-OK Cik Mas.

Now i find myself puzzled. Here I'm working with a Dutch boss who believed that last night was full moon and coincidently is "Khamis malam Jumaat" (Thursday Night) where the muslim believe is the night where we should recite extra verse after our Isya Prayer and not doing this hanky-panky rituals.But what did he do last night? He hired a "bomoh-traditional healer" who claims he can get rid of all the bad spririts around and in the hotel. And this is the first time in Malaysia I heard a bomoh distributes calling card - wow..maybe the boss should hire him to boost the sales. And to add on he actually asked about the payment term. Is this for real????

Well, he chosed my staff to be his mediator last night. Hellooo!!!! since when a bomoh use any tom, dick and harry to do his stuffs?? He agreed to do it only because he wants to find out the truth. And true enough, all the way during the rituals he was walking with both eyes close assisted by the bomoh and feeling sober at all time. He swore he was sober at all time and all the rituals were bullsh***.

On top of that I heard the Boss has agreed to a fees of 8geez...whoaa!!! that's a whole lotta money...i mean it cud be my bonus next year or my adjustment for mid year..damn!!!!

What I'm trying to say here is, not that I don't believe in "these things" but this bomoh is definately taking my Boss for a ride...i guess he's not that clever after all. Sorry Boss..I just have to say that. If you ever come across my blog, please don't fire me.

i'm humming twilight zone now...ooo..scarieee..

Simple choice.

Is there anything as simple choice? For the past 3 days my inbox kept receiving the same e-mail over and over again from different people. It made me think is up there tryin' to tell me somethin'? For the past weeks, actually since I came back from Umrah i'm feeling kinda down. The Big Boss himself told me that I'll have a new boss soon. I'm fine with having new boss but his designation in the organizational chart is at the same level with me and the previous colleague that was in that position, both of us report directly to the GM. This really has a big impact on me, I mean for me is demotion of authority, big big demotivation, felt unappreciated so on and so forth. I mean wth his tryin' to do?? i have 8 peeps under me, how would i ever explain this in words..aagghhh..it's unexplainable. can anyone feel me here???

everyday for the past 3 days, i've been reading this e-mail every morning, just to cheer me up. it worked but come end of the day i'll somehow feel down again. i had a chat with another colleague of mine about this e-mail. and this is wht he said. - is so true that he did all those things before. wakes up in the morning and thank Allah for giving him another day. and he actually smile all the way to the train station greeted peeps that he knows along the way even in the cold cold gloomy wet winter. i mean cold, gloomy and wet winter?? it's very frustrating, trust me it's not the best combination. but things change after he got married and have kids. and i was like what?? and then he explained, not that he don't love his family but with all of that in his plate he has only 1 choice to make, that is to make ends meet. he cannot afford to be jobless, he cannot afford to earn less than what he's earning now and barely have few pennies left by the middle of the month. with his responsibilities he's all tide up...if he was single, he would be able to make the choice easily as he can make it for months just with salads and olives. i think this is really sad situation. i would like to say here that having a family it's not a 'situation'. it's supposed to be a new life..i mean if and when i do get married and have babies, i would not want to say that they're the one who puts me in this 'situation'. it's all in our hands. how we want to raise our kids? pour them with the 'material' love or cherish them with our unconditional love? off course all parents wants to give the best to their children, piano lessons, swimming lessons, ballet class, drama class, dancing class..etc..etc... but sometime i see parents over doing it. i have a friend a single mother who has a maid but the maid is actually more a nanny. she takes care of the 2 years old daughter and not do a single chores at home. everything is just for her daughter, cook for her only, clean-up her room only i mean this is so not right. does she wants her kid to grow up to be a spoil brat? now i think i'm not the best person to even write about this so i'll leave it to you'll parents to decide or elaborate further for my future reference. i might be wrong...

what i really wanted to express here is about myself. should i feel threatened, should i find another job, should i ..should i... or should i..so many shoulds. so i've decided that i'll wake up every morning and begin my day with alhamdullilah, all praise to Allah for giving me another marvellous day, marvellous air to breath, marvellous food to eat and many many more marvellous things to come. i always believe that everything happen for a reason and Allah does His things in his own marvellous way, it's up to us to figure it out and appreciate it. I'm gonna be positive and optimistic about it. And i hope i will be able do this for the rest of my life till my last breath.

There...is that simple.

Oh Allah, bless me with your nur, your mercy and guide me to the right path.

have a marvellous day and marvellous night...

~~~~mumblings of mass 2 marvellous~~~~

Rainbow

peghhh...today rasernyer adalah hari yg sungguh menggelikan aka mengerikan. but before i begin, ini bukanlah iklan cumer nak share experience jer. i attended the housekeepers association meeting last week and there were a few peeps mentioning this product called Rainbow Hydro Cleaner. actually about a year ago a lady called me up several time nak buat demo kat hotel but biler dengar price dier..makkk aaiii..trus cakap takder budget. she wasn't so persistent so it dies off.

so this guy came today and buat demo in one of the room, i brought my 2 boyz to join me as buktila kalau benda tu bagus ke tak. so aku pun berdiri sambil nak dengar explanation blaa..blaaa... biler dier start jer physical demo. oohh..how i thought my rooms were spik and span adalah jauh panggang dr api. he put a piece of black cloth just before the suction head, omigoshh!!! the amound of dust was unbelieveable. ni baru kat atas sofa jer. then he continued talking..dah nampak cam boring he went into another demo, this time the bed. so this machine ader this special head specially for pillows, mattress and carpet. he vacuum on the mattress, sambil tu dier cuber la suh i try pegang. so after dah try n error, he pulled up the upper half of the vacuum and showed me the bowl of water full with dead skin cells yg merupai lemak lemak haiwan yg tak terkata rupenyer. ya Allah, suddenly in my mind right away i'm imagining the mattress kekabu that i slept on everynite at home ...eeeuuwww!!! then he went to the pillow, oohhh..another nightmare..macam bakteria cholera etc..etc...exactly macam csi using that thingy except this time i'm seeing it with my naked eyes. then he went on to the carpet, is amazing that the brush won't work if we're brushing against the carpet flows. that thing will adjust it's way and then move along..mervellous!!! the carpet look excellent!!!

till now i still cannnot get that "germ" look from the bowl of water out of my mind. so kesimpulannya still takder budget nak beli, coz this thang' is too high price for me to make the decision. lepas nie nak convince GM to see the demo, he might not get it for the hotel but maybe for his condo kat sentral tu. i think so he will..he's a damn jaga hygienic kinda dutch. raser nyer sesapa yg ader duit extra, apabila dah tgk demo tu rasernyer mesti nak beli, barula raser betapa "kotor" udara within our surrounding and this is inside the room..imagine kat luar?? i wonder??? i will definately fail the IEQ test if the goverment make it a compulsory thing next year.

nevertheless, i've just eaten a marvellous bowl of laksa...camner nie..nothing can deprived me from good food..even the Rainbow...

Instant Mummy-Mummy segera

Is the translation above right? hhmmm.... this morning i was asked by my nephew what is 'ear phone' in Malay. so dgn confidentnya i answered 'alat pendengaran telinga'. but then it didn't sound right to me, coz biler translate balik it sound like hearing aid thingy. so i asked the help of my oversea frend, she pun blur jugak and the best part her hubby literally translated as 'telefon telinga' boley??? inilah resultnyer tipu my abah on the BM text book during my school days. it was too expensive the book that when abah gave me the money to buy, i instead went to town and spend it on marvellous mc'donald.

well anyway back to 'mummy segera', i was given the chance to raise 5 beautiful kids approximately 6 months back. this is after the sudden demise of my brother allahyarham hj Amir Zuhairi bin Hj Zubir whom i called abang. sesungguhnyer it happen when we least expect it. it was about 1.30am when my sis woke me up - bangun..bangun..kak ani call..abang at the hospital. i was like blur but immediately what came to mind was, dier had an accident ke? i just put on a shirt on my kaftan and we drove to ampang puteri with 2 cars. i was with my younger sis. it was total silent. none of us said a word. but it never occured in my mind that he has left the dunia for good. Allah lebih sayangkan dia. i walked into the emergency area and there i saw him lying down there with his serene face, arm folded and white cloth all around his face, i will not forget that look. i actually asked my mom, itu abang ke mie?? dier dah takder ker? and i heard my abah was asking, eri ke tu..ya allah anak abah.

so from that night onwards i took the responsibilty which i've considered is the right thing to do and i'm glad i took the responsibility. Mum i hope you redha that i'm here and not with you though the time when i was home i usually spend it sleeping in my marvellous complete room. 5 beautiful kids - 3 nephews and 2 nieces..each and everyone with their own characters, tempremental, blurish, tomboy, loving complete package all in all. i'm not trying to replace their abah nor act as their mama, but i'm just giving my natural support as any makcik will do. there's actually a blessing in disguise when i took the nanny job sometime ago. maybe Allah wants to prepare me for this. sememangnyer tahap kesabaran mestila maximum..twice i think i lost it and i felt really bad, i mean they're anak yatim. but i've decided to be the garang yet loving one like their abah and any pampering let their mama do it. so there's balance there, i mean i can't simply grow or implant testicles at the age of 30. but there's still no father figure for them to look up to except for their uncles..i hope these uncles will give the extra tlc. i mean i do not know what future has in store for me. what if i got married and obviously my responsibility will change like or not. Allah knows best, i'll leave it in His hand. "sesungguh Allah tidak bebankan kepada umatnya apa yang ia tidak mampu bebankan"

so now my activities..homework, baca quran, sports day, school trips, report card day, buat susu, feed the small one yg habitnyer makan tgh malam.... nagging...nagging and nagging without missing my fav marvellous tv series..i.e desperate housewives, csi, americal idol, sex in the cities bla..bla...but one thing i miss for sure is my marvellous cable tv - astro. when will i enjoy that?? susahnyer nak sacrifice hobby tengok tv nie..

Feeling Marvellous

today is the day..well actually yesterday. i've decided to feel marvellous in facing life..feel marvellous, eat marvellous food, see marvellous things, touch marvellous things, smell marvellous things, be with marvellous frenz and many many more marvellous things to come. Marvellous...is all about feeling marvellous. i'm feeling it..from MASS to Marvellous!!!