Past & Present

uhuukkk...uhukkk..banyak sawang dah nieee...cob web here n there ..wooshh..wiissshh...ok..dah clear..:)

well after neglecting the ugly but adorable home for quite sometime, i finally find time to refurb what needs to be refurb.

so what's in store for 2007 and what 2006 has taught me?

2006 has been a rough year for the family. A battle that has no ending or rather waiting for an unknown ending. Whatever it is I know for sure it's gonna be a painfull effect on all especially the kids.How can I fight this ego in me? Am i angry at her? I'm not angry at her for needing another shelter, for needing another half to complete what has been take away abruptly. It was a calculated risk which I have warned her very much earlier, a risk that she has to deal with and not run away from it because it started from her decision to do so. They say blood is thicker than water, so I guess we ain't her blood anymore. No more calls, not even from the kids, I guess it's too hard to instill value in the kids when anger takes over the adult mind.

Mom has repeatedly ask me? What is happening to the kids? Takkan after abang's death the line is cut off? I know I have to make the first move but my heart is still full of questions? why?? why did she elope? why can't she make an effort to have little sensitivity towards my mom? why can't she make an effort to make contact with our side of the family, to my aunts, to my uncles, not more for her benefits, just so the kids knows their roots.

Alhamdullilah, Zahin n Muhd got straight A's for their UPSR. And they got to a boarding school. Mom had to call and ask for this. I don't mind to do it, but it just hurts me to see that an old grandma had to call and ask for something that is phone call away for the kids.

Mom made a difficult journey to Abang's grave on Eid Adha. Because she could not do it on Eid Fitri, she insisted to go on that day. Called the neighbour and ask if the kids were at home perhaps they can come down to meet "wan" which is a stone throw away from home. They came, but not the kids, it was Abg Mat nor and Kak Wani who came instead. Mom was touched, happy and tried very hard to hide her disappointment. Touched that the couple came, happy that she was able to make that journey and disappointed that none of her grandchildren came over to wish her Eid Adha.It was that close... the next day they left for boarding school without again calling "wan".

I pray that Allah will lead me through the right path in dealing with this. Insya Allah, He will...meanwhile I can only offer my doa for everything to turn out as how she SIL has hoped for. For if not, I shall not again have the courage to see what will her next action be.

2007 came and I can only hope for a better year for family and me. About a month ago, I brought mom to her doctor appointment in UH. She actually walked all the way from the entrance to the waiting area infact she was walking from one point to another that I could not believe that in November she had to be wheel-chaired to the doctor. How we're blessed...I'm forever grateful to Allah s.w.t for bringing my mom's health back. My sister keep telling my mom, Mie, mummy kena byk byk bersyukur for all the things that happen and the outcome which was beyond our expectation.

Infact she is driving now, she started to drive last week and ecstatic that she could do so. We reminded her to not over do it and still keep with the medicine, treatment, physio and of course the doas.

As for me, I'm starting a new job in a new place and back into the hustle and bustle of KL. I'm planning to commute as much as possible. Infact during this one week break I took the comuter down town and also the LRT as early as 7am just to see what I'm getting myself into. To see what's the damage like. Will it be so bad as some of my negative friends comment. Here I am telling them, I can commute, why not? I commuted when I was in London, as early as 6am, it was not a problem. And they were like, yeah...it's gonna be sauna commuting here and no nice trench coat you can wear to look good and nice boots is not an option...aarrghhh..so negative!!! It turn out not to bad at all, it wud help if the weather were a bit cooler and LRT shud have more coaches to handle the 9am & 5pm traffic. I was in KL Sentral trying to get to Dang Wangi today and we were put on Q like in school, serves the Malaysian society right for not practising certain values. Because some of us who do not know or pretend not to know that we should give way to passengers who's getting out and therefore we Q like school children. And need they be reminded that if they wish to remain at a spot on an escalator they should stand on the left side!!! Argghhh....it's even written on the wall in some places. Gosh..dun they read?? My annoyance escalates everytime I uses the escalators here... People please..read and practise...


2007 at the moment looking bright for me. I hope I'm making all the right moves this year and if I ever fall, please Allah let me get up with dignity.