Sorrowful day...

O Allah, forgive and have mercy upon him and pardon him, and make honourable his reception. Expand his entry, and cleanse him with water, snow and ice and purify him of sin as a white robe, is purified of filth. Exchange his home for a better home and his family for a better family, and his spouse for a better spouse. Admit him into the Garden, protect him from the punishment of the grave and the torment of Fire.

'O Allah, forgive our living and our dead, those present and those absent, our young and our old, our males and our females. O Allah, whom amongst us You keep alive, then let such life be upon Islam, and whom amongst us You take unto Yourself, then let such a death be upon faith. '

'O Allah, do not deprive us of his reward and do not let stray after him.'

'O Allah they are under Your care and protection so protect him from the trial of the grave and torment of Fire. Indeed You are faithful and truthful. You are The Oft-Forgiving, The Most-Merciful'

'O Allah, Your servant and the son of Your maidservant is in need of Your mercy and You are without need of his punishment. If he was righteous, then increase his reward and if he was wicked then look over his sin'

I was startled during my sleep sometime past midnight. Grab the phone and noticed it was about 2.30ish am. Noticed there's a message unread. Click 'ok'

"Salam.. my father passed away t 8.45pm, today at our Klang home"

Innalillah....

Continued my disturbed sleep and woke up earlier then usual to do "ziarah".

-----------------------------------

Reached the office around 10nish and was informed that one of staff's wife died unexpectedly leaving behind 4 children, the youngest being only 3 months and still on breast feeding.

I'm caught off guard..2 deaths in between few hours...

It's a sorrowful day for me.

In the midst of enjoying preparation for Syawal, I'm bound thinking of how the kids and my friend's family will greet it.

Nevertheless life has to go on. I can only pray that ALLAH S.W.T will guide and shower the family of the deceased with strong heart.

Let's offer our prayer for Norzaiha's father and Azizi's wife.

You are indeed in a better place.

Memory remains....

I pray for the soul of our little angel - Adik Nurin Jazlin, rest in peace my girl, you are now in a better place...insya Allah.

And if the police wants to do something right, this is the time. Get the bastard who did this. I wish for him to be tortured and die slowly. But instead they said they are going to press charge Nurin's parent for negligence. I mean...wtf!!! Do they have to announce after the funeral??? Have they no feelings??

Nurin Jazlin was pronounce dead within the past 24hours from the time they found the sports bad. So imagine the ordeal she has to go through, I can't even describe it. My tears drop again when I saw the papers today. Yes..I am that emotional.

Everytime I look at her photo, she reminds me of my niece, Mashitah. It send shivers to my spine, thinking if this happen to her.

Mashitah...mashitah..I miss that little girl...




Speaking of Mashitah, my brother, Mashitah's father died 2 years ago on Sept 20th 2005. For the whole of that Thursday, apart from hearing the news on Nurin Jazlin and the opening of Pavillion KL, I was trying to remember what else was it.

On my way home, I remembered that it was the day that my brother went to meet his Creator. All the memories came back. When I reached home, I told my mom that it has been 2 years already. And so much has happen.

I pray for Abg's soul to be among the pious and that one day I will be his neighbour.

Ouh..I was reading AphroditeKuzz entry on this chaotic HOBO been creating, I chatted with him once and he claimed he knew my late brother. Years ago, they used to play for the rugby national under 21 team, I think. He mentioned that once while on training, he accidentally knock him off and my brother reciprocate by saying "sxxl..la kau ni kalut!!! kawan sendiri pun nak langgar" or something like that. But my brother died 2 years ago when he was 36, so if he's still alive that makes him 38 this year. Not 40 yet as AphroditeKuzz describe HOBO. So Mr Hobo, if you were telling a true drama, good for you...but if it was a just a pure luck thingy...that's so pathetic!!!

You win some..you lose some...

What did I win?

Well I didn't actually win anything instead I got them as presents.... So what did I get....not many but it's special.



Yeaah..I loicke Tweety...I tot i taw a putty tat..I tit..tit.... Did I mentioned my friend hand made this card. She does lovely cards....cute ehh??


I bought these for me...It's hard for me to find sandals that fits me perfectly and this one fits me perfectly..It was also cheap..only RM39.90...hehhh..hehhh..now I know where to go for comfy cheap sandals...they have many collections of gorgeous sandals...I loickee.....:)


Me friend above...just know how to get me things. Just what I need...a bag to match my sandal..



Tengkiu...tengkiu...mak lang for this lovely bag...again specially handmade for moi!!! Cantekkk!!! me sukerrr....



Taaraaaaa!!!! 3 new things to add into my list...I so like earth color things..



This one above...mak lang made it for my friend...hehhhehheee..she actually like mine, the flower design. But since it was my birthday...so I get pick first...tengkiu dodie....

What did lose?

Arggghhhhh!!! This is the painful part. On Monday, I went to BB to breakfast with couple of office mates. We took the monorail at Bukit Nanas and got down at BB. I thot someone was pushing me extra hard and felt like my bag was rummage thru. But I was on the phone. As soon as I got down the monorail I felt that I should check my bag and true to my instinct, my wallet was gone!!!! kapishh!!!!

Happened it a split second... Phone rang seconds before approaching the BB Station, the idiot must have noticed that I did not zip my bag when I took out the phone.

Dangit!!!!


Memang dugaan!!!

What was gone?

4 ATM's card
Driving license which had my 18yp picture on it....grrrr
MYKad
MyOldIc which had my 12yo picture on it...double grrr....sentimental yoo!!!
UK NI Card
MPH Membership card
Blood Identification card
Old UK Student card
London Tube Map
EPF Card
Cash about RM60ish...phewww...

and my GUCCI wallet I bought like 10years ago dgn titik peluh gaji maser muder muder....uwaaaa!!!!! me cannot afford that now...you know how leather gets better year after year.....uwaaaaa!!!!!

Bensi!!!!...Bensi!!!!Bensi!!!!!!

Ya Allah..berikan lah aku tahap kesabaran yang tinggi...and please if someone finds my wallet, please call me, my name card is in there.....sedihh woooo....

Lepas buka puasa, straight to police station. Then called 4 banks on the way back home.

I must give credit to HSBC for having the most efficient telebankers!!! My call was picked up in less than 2 minutes...

MBB....comes 2nd

PBB...3rd place

And the worst among the lot....

RHB!!! damn machine voice was entertaining me for like what seems ages!!! like 10 minutes or so!! Blood sucking bank!!! Sajer taktik nak perabih bill henfon aku!!!

I hope the contact number they gave on the fliers of Nurin(the missing child) is reliable.

Sungguh menduga kan indeed.....

I hope next week will be better. Ouhh...and I was called for an interview. I went and was told they will call me next week. Not gonna put my hope high this time...we'll see...

Merdeka kah kita??

What MERDEKA means to me?

It has and always will be my birthday.... The day the nation celebrate independence, I celebrate a day of being a year errrr..wiser :)

Couple of days ago, mom said we do not understand what "MERDEKA" means, just because I ridiculed the fact she insisted to fly the flag at the balcony. She said, if we had to go through what she had to go through pre-merdeka, we would appreciate it.

As I grow ..eheemm.. wiser..I don't feel we're Merdeka..there's still something missing, a gap somewhere...

My few small years abroad have given me different perspective in life. Racism yeah..it exists everywhere, different cultures and religions. On some bad day people get thrown by bad eggs or stones...so shit happens. After the 9/11 it was even worst, anyone with hijab is a threat to their so called better society.

Despite what's going on, at the work place, there are rights. Rights for all to work in peace and harmony. A right to bicker, to bitch, to shag, to snog...errr..okeh..whatever..

We had 2 somalians who wore hijab at work. The management allowed this as long as it's neat and black in color.

Back in KL, in the industry I am and under the much talk about Islam Hadhari by Pak Lah, all the staffs have to remove their hijab just to earn a living. I know we have options, but sometimes in a country where there isn't much to offer, what choices do these people have?

Merdeka kah aku? Merdeka kah aku for letting this happen? Everyday I ask myself this..merdeka kah negara ini, sedangkan negara yang bukan Islam agama rasminya tapi masih membenarkan pemakaian hijab di tempat kerja.

I know my heart feel for these people, but what can I do? I'm earning a living too..

What do you think? Merdeka kah kita sepenuhnye??

At 32, I don't think I'm MERDEKA yet...

Anyway,

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME...
NOT A DAY OLDER BUT A YEAR WISER
MAY ALLAH BLESS ME WITH MORE GREAT YEARS TO COME
MAY ALLAH BLESS ME WITH HIS RAHMAT DAN NIKMAT

This morning before I left, my mom wished me HAPPY BIRTHDAY, I saw her looking fragile, she hugged me. I asked for her forgiveness, I asked her to halal my makan and minum and I asked for her to wish me well. They say a mother's word is the best ever...

Ya, Allah, kau ampunilah dosa kedua ibu-bapaku, berikanlah mereka kesihatan yang baik, kelak nanti kau letakkan lah mereka dikalangan orang-orang yg mulia disisiMu...


I'm off to Perhentian where I hope to be liberated by the fresh air, clear water and free sun....

See you all in 8 days!!

Adab- adab vacation...

This is a post for Kak Bedah and Abg Budin sekeluarga, Mr Ah Beng and family and Macha Muthusamy sekeluarga all over Malaysia and maybe perhaps in Singapore too...

Musim sekolah sudah tiba and for Singaporeans coming soon to ehh?

Planning for short breaks with family? To KL for those who lives outside KL and Selangor or some other places perhaps - beach or Taman Negara maybe...

Whatever it is and wherever it may be, please...please...on behalf of the makciks and kakaks that are earning ala ala kais pagi makan pagi, don't torture them.

Is bad enough that we have the Arab tourists that treats the hotel like their
friggin' home and the maids like their orang gaji!! We don't that kind of Malaysians do we?? Noooo..we're polite and understanding people dan semestinyer bukan pengotor!!!

If you ask any chamber maids from any hotel within KL on which race yg sgt problematic and maner yg easy to handle they will give you straight answers..


I'm stating here the guideline to stay in a hotel or chalet or aper aper jer la that requires maid services...





Now for the pictures above..

If the rooms you are taking has only 2 beds, please don't make it into 3. You know how bloody heavy is the matress and the divan?? Setakat buat satu bilik and byk org tolong boleh la criter kan?? Try cleaning up 16rooms like that??

But sometimes tuan-tuan dan puan-puan sumer are on a tight budget, kang tak bawak holiday, bini mengamuk, anak-anak memberontak kan?? So we understand la..nak kena bawak mattress turun la, pull divan here and there but please..please re-arrange back on a daily basis until you checked out. If not for every single stay the maids will have to adjust the bed position... It sucks big time you know??? Housekeeping nightmare tau??



Then biler dah banyak in the room, then you will need to request more amenities and towels. Pun we understand...

Tapi ini, dah la bagi extra pastuh pie stain kan bagai nak rak!!! APER NIEH??? Lepas tuh..tak cukup curik la plak....lagi la hampas!!! setakat duk bilik standard yg towels dier lagi cantik lagi towel baru kat tesco, let me advise you ladies and gentlemen tak yah la curik towels dier...pathetic la saper yg buat tu...alang alang kalo nak curik..duk la suite ke kan...baru la high end amenities and towels kitaorg provide...alang alang nak curik kan..baik la amik yg 300TC Egyptian kan??


Please hang your clothes at the cloth line provided in the bathroom. Ini bukan flat DBKL yg boleh jemur kat balkoni yer tuan, tuan dan puan puan... And if you have too much clothes just send them for washing via the hotel laundry service and if that's too expensive by your standard please go to the many many self-service laundry provided around the city.


This is a BIG NO..NO!!! Raser-raser kalau nak hidup lama tolong la jgn buat benda tak patut ni!!! This is simple basic science, you put fabric on a lighted hot light bulb it can sparks fire!! So please ladies and gentlemen, have some common sense for cryin' out loud!!

I wish I've taken more horrible pictures of rooms that look worst that what Katrina did to New Orleans.

C'mon people..we are better than that!! Have some mercy for the makciks and kakaks that are cleaning the rooms. I know you pay for the room..etc..etc...but if that's were your home, would you do the same?

To hoteliers, The Arabs are known all over the world as our worst nightmare but the amount of $$$$ that they put in is undoubtly everyone's dream vacation...splurge..splurge.... Please don't let Malaysians be label the same too.

Mak...penat skrg nieh..penat...penat tgk bilik cuti sekolah nie..

Me go now...

Health babbling

Once upon a time long long ago....

Day 1

A - Eh..u know I went to see the doctor about this..etc...etc...blaa...blaa... then he advised to see gaini.

B - Hmm..I heard the gaini in this hospital is quite good..reliable...so and so....

Few days later....

A - Ehhh..where you went? not feeling well ka?

C - No lah...just went to see my gaini for the usual check up..

A - Ehh...you also pegie jumper gaini kaa?? which hospital?

C - Hospital so and so...

A - Famous yaa dr gaini...she's everywhere...

C - Ehh..mestila all women must see dr gaini niee..

A - "Dalam hati" I must see who is this famous gaini...

Another couple of days later...A went to the said hospital,

A - Excuse me..saya nak jumper dr gaini. Is she around?

Receptionist - Ader. Have you made any appointment? Gaini maner yg cik nak jumper?

A - Alaaa..dr gaini yg famous tu..byk kawan I jumper dier..

Receptionist - Err...gaini ader byk cik..which one do u wish to see?

A - Errr..gaini ader byk? wht do you mean ader byk?

Receptionist - "Senyum senget" Oooo...cik, I think you've misunderstood...gaini means

GYNAECOLOGIST, Doktor pakar sakit puan...Itu bukan nama cik.."senyum sumbing"

A - ooo....err..if that's the case you just book me with the best laa..."control macho"

Muahahaaaaa...muahahhaaaa....tu la perasan terer lagi....

Ok back to a more serious note...

I read the recent news about our drama queen actress Azean Irdawaty who already had her surgery to remove the lump and is now undergoing chemo.

May she fight this disease with a strong heart and may Allah protect her from any distress for He knows best...

We seem to take health issue lightly, time may have changed, technology have gone up by major scale but our people mentality on health is still at the shallow end. I for one have to admit this. "head down"

I remembered receiving a letter from my GP in UK in the year 2003 about my pap smear test. I was suppose to go for my 2nd check-up as they found a small cyst which they have taken some cell to do further test. At that time they told me that it was nothing to worry about.

I did not return for my 2nd check-up as I've flown back to KL and did not attempt to do so in KL after my mom got a shocked of her life that I took the pap smear test.

Being a semi conventional mother she is, she was like...eh pegi pap smear?? U are not married yet, why you do that? Did you know that they have to stick it in?

I said, yes mom, and for you information, all the girls in UK gets a letter from their GP on this test as soon as they finished high school.

Then I add on, takkan la org yg tak kawin sampai umur 50 don't need to get the test?? This disease is not only for married women kan Mie??

She just kept quiet. And I did not pursue with any follow up till now. No..I'm not blaming my mom for her lack in knowledge on this.

I just did not expect to look it at that angle - anak dara tak leh buat pap smear nanti pecah dara....Didn't expect that.. Has some sense in that... I dunno...anyone has opinion on this?

Anyway it's my body, I should have been more persistent.

I shall look into this pronto and also I've to do my mammogram, which I've never done before.

Anyone can recommend any reputable and reliable Gynae? Mind sharing it with me?

Since we're on health talk here, they say - You are what you eat... Research shows that the many diseases occuring now that was rarely heard couple of decade ago is due to the food we eat. How far true is this?

Lets see the picture and explanation below...



Something to ponder....

Fast and easy microwave cooking for you?
Read and you decide...

Subject: Microwaved Water - What does it do to you?

Posted by Ms. Nenah Sylver....

Below is a science fair project that my granddaughter did for 2006.
In it she took filtered water and divided it into two parts.
The first part she heated to boiling in a pan on the stove, and the
second part she heated to boiling in a microwave. Then after cooling
she used the water to water two identical plants to see if there
would be any difference in the growth between the normal boiled water
and the water boiled in a microwave. She was thinking that the
structure or energy of the water may be compromised by microwave.

As it turned out, even she was amazed at the difference.

I have known for years that the problem with microwaved anything is not
the radiation people used to worry about, it's how it corrupts the DNA
in the food so the body cannot recognize it. So the body wraps it in
fat cells to protect itself from the dead food or it eliminates it fast.
Think of all the Mothers heating up milk in these "Safe" appliances.
What about the nurse in Canada that warmed up blood for a transfusion
patient and accidentally killed them when the blood went in dead.

But the makers say it's safe. Never mind then, keep using them.
Ask your Doctor. I am sure they will say it's safe too.

Proof is in the pictures of living plants dying.
Remember YOU are also Living. Take Care.

--------------------------------------------------

And I just finished my mid year appraisal with my boss.

Hear this...on of my objective...

Is to reduce 8kgs by mid next year....boleh kaaa?? Like it has anything to do with my work performance.

But being the usual me, I took it positively and proudly nyer nak announce that I've been going jogging for the past 3 weeks on my off day.

Ok so that's just once a week..but it's a start yeahh...And I jogged non-stop for 35minutes...wow!!! The 5 months of walking to and fro the lrt station has definitely paid off.

Next swimming...anyone wants to join. Skarang dah ader burkini.

Untuk mat-mat yang bacer, burkini yee...bukan bikini okehh!!!

WTH!!!!!

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Macam tetiba panic attack!!! wtf!!! all my entries...

jeng..jeng...jeng...


after 48hours it was ok..


pheww...

---------------------------------------------------------





I'm always behind when it comes to reading newspaper. I read yesterday's paper today. Well at least I'm reading it.

My heart weep and tears streaming down my cheek when I saw the pictures above.

What kind of idiot, moron, maniac, crazy human can do this???

These are children for godsake!!!

Take someone your size god dammit!!!

What happen to kind heart?? Where is love when these children need it?? I wish I can have my hands on the caretaker, by god I will.....damn I'm so angry, frustrated, sad.... everything at one time.

I'm glad the Al-Hanan orphans in Baghdad are in better hands now wherever they are.
Now I appreciate my childhood more than ever.

At least the US Soldiers are doing a teeny weeny bit of noble act than taking people's life. Pardon my patriotism...


I hope the caretaker will be punished and rot in hell!!! Scum!!

Read more on these kids here.

Happy Mommy's Day

~AN EXCERP FROM THE FRONTPAGE OF NST DATED 10TH MAY 2007~


KUALA LUMPUR: What do you tell a parent whose child has gone missing? Can anything you say heal the wound?

Ching Poon was kidnapped on April 25, 2006 and her skeletal remains were found 11 days later
Ching Poon was kidnapped on April 25, 2006 and her skeletal remains were found 11 days later
Tengku Puteri Nur Aqilah Tengku Kamarudin was reported missing after she failed to meet her mother outside her school. She returned to her family last month
Tengku Puteri Nur Aqilah Tengku Kamarudin was reported missing after she failed to meet her mother outside her school. She returned to her family last month
The hearts of more than 1,900 parents continue to bleed for their children who are missing.

Since 2004, a total of 5,996 children aged below 18 went missing from their homes. However, except for 1,904, the rest subsequently returned home or were found.

The majority of those who went missing are girls. Of the four-year total, 3,398 were girls. In fact, girls from the 14 to 17 age group made up the majority of missing children in all four years.

According to Deputy Internal Security Minister Datuk Johari Baharum, 303 children and teenagers below 18 went missing from Jan 1 to April 13.
The good news is that 176 of them have been found and reunited with their families. The rest continue to anguish over the fate of their children.

Johari said there were five main reasons why children and teenagers went missing.

"Most ran away from home because they were influenced by their friends or were persuaded to do so by their boyfriends or girlfriends," he said in the Dewan Negara yesterday.

"Some children left home because of misunderstandings with family members, a lack of attention from their families or the wish to be free from their families.

"These are the top five reasons why children run away from home. There are many more reasons."

He said this in reply to Senator Datin Nik Azizah Nik Yahya who had wanted to know the reasons why children went missing.


"If parents notice any change in their children’s behaviour, they should take immediate action to find out what is wrong," he said.
------------------------------------------------------------------

It is still very fresh in my mind. I was 10 when I ran away from home. All because I flunk my mid-term math paper. I was scared too death. Math was not my favourite subject and therefore not my cuppa tea. Passing marks just at the border was considerably good for me. I was scared like hell. The fact that I have to get home and show the report card to mommy and abah was terrifying. I can already imagine my dad long lectures and mom's cubit and spanking.

So I decided to scoot. Pack the essentials in my knapsack and off I went with my trustworthy BMX. At that time I remember telling myself that I'm gonna cycle all the way down to Kg. Bharu and live there with my Kak Teh's family together with arwah Wan. I have always have a good sense of direction. I was confident that I'll make my way through.

Siap tulis surat lagi and left it on the dining table. I remembered cycling all the way and upon reaching the Federal Highway at Bulatan Istana-Shah Alam I decided to take a 360degree turn to Kompleks PKNS and hang out at my then favourite place - BBC - Berita Book Centre. I was sitting down reading couple of books when arwah Pak Long found me.

He brought me home and I fondly remember how my dad hug me and told me never ever do that again and how he was afraid of losing me. I didn't remember how mommy reacted but throughout my life after that I knew she observed and understood and till now she has been an understanding mom minus the losing weight issue.....

She sat with me prior to my Penilaian Exam in Std 5. Surprisingly I scored 4A's 1B and that B was for Science. Not bad for one who was always failing math.

Then came SRP. She again found me a good tuition teacher and also sat with me as much as she could. And I did quite ok and got C3 for my math. But I did badly in Geography or was it commerce and it streached my grades. Dad was furious and he wanted to moved me to the school nearer to the house. I went berserk. After 8 years in the same school and I had to moved?? No way..I was adamant. I guess it is only now I realised why mommy was not so pushy on this. She prolly dun want me to freaked out again.

Then came the biggest theory exam in my life. One that I cannot afford to fail. One that at that point of life was crucial in determining my future or so I thot. Mommy could not do much with me during this time because it's mostly subjectives paper. The reading subject was not easy but it was not that difficult either. I just needed to do more revision and less TV. But hell who's gonna help me with Math?? No one...I was so dead.

And true to it, I got P7 for my math, the only one time ever that I passed since form 4. I can't believe it. I so thot I'm gonna flunk it. The rest of other subjects was acceptable and again English save my ass and brought my grade a step higher.

As soon as the result came out, mom and me sat down together and planned my future. She was so determined not to let this one litte devil of hers goes away without at least a minimum scroll in her hand.

She said..ok UBA would you like to try this? Since numbers is not your strength and reading is your life, so you have to get a course that needs more reading and less calculation. So off I went to a college in Langkawi.

I was messed up a little during my college years. I played hard but I never strayed from my intention to get that paper. I promised myself that I would at least do this for mommy if not for myself. Somewhere along the way I was caught up with this web of mess and I had to fight back for my rights to be in class. Again I told myself if I have to beg, I will. And begging I did and I was re-instate. Phewww..that was so close. While waiting to be re-instate I stayed at home for 2 weeks. Mommy was cool about it. Though it was a typical youngsters issue, she did not nag about it.

After I graduated and after lazing around for a month, mommy chased me out from the house. She urged me to look for suitable vacancy day after day. My first job interview, she drove me and even took that couple of steps up accompanying me in filling up the form. Hey...it was my first job interview. Couple of days later, I got the job... She always said I was born on a silver spoon...Mom I think I'm more on the wooden spoon kind..

Mom has played a big part in my life. Even when she was skeptical of me leaving abroad, she let me. And miles away when I needed a shoulder to cry on, she heard me. Her instincts was so strong that as soon as she heard my voice she knew something was wrong. But I told, I'm not coming back yet mom, not yet..I'll stay and fight. All I need was a word of encouragement, her doa and redha that was what she gave me.

It's gonna be an endless list of the so good things about my mom. But being the super mom plus cranky at times she has her flaws too. And these flaws to me was what made her perfect. I would not want to trade her flaws for any other thing. By saying that means, she did not want us to do what we don't want to do but instead to do what we feel is right. Mistakes happen she says, when it does, we fall, then we rise with dignity, we learn from it and re-set our priorities.

I guess I've always kept her in the middle of my on and off feud with my Kak Long. Sometimes I wish my younger sis is me and I am her. Whenever Kak Long put on her silent killer mode like now, anything I have to say I'll tell it to my mom.

Sometimes mom do hurt my feelings but that's just a little dot in my heart unaffected by all those years of sacrificed she did for me and the love she has for me.

She knows me too well that when I quietly left home couple of days 2 years ago in needing a space to myself after a great mental torture by Kak Long she understood when none of the siblings understood.

This was supposed to be a post about why children are running away from home. Because I myself have run away from home too.

However, unexpectedly it turn out to be about my mom and since mom's day is just around the corner, I want to wish my mom a very Happy Mother's Day and I know you've been through a lot, with Abang's death and the pain of not able to see his children grow up. I wish you all the happiness in the world and hereafter.

Mommy please don't stop praying for me to be a better person for no other doa are more precious that a doa from a mother to her children.

I love you and will always have you in my doa.

Can you work it? Is it worth it?

They say work hard and play even harder. But what if we were to work so hard and never get to the play harder part?

Eventually all of of us will die, it's a fact of life. Is just a matter of when, where and how.

The link below reminded me that there's more to life than just working, working and working. That money is not everything but just part of everything. We have options to choose and therefore we must choose wisely. Wealth or health? My condolences to the family and especially her mother.

Balance in life that's what we need... somehow is seems so hard to get balance let alone the balance in the annual figures.

Read this story, a story on how one human overworked herself that had cost her her life.

This is a tribute to the girl written by her friend.

Doctor confirmed she's suffering from this.

This is also a checklist for all employers out there who have overworked their people but still think they're underwork.

P/S : Thank you Jade for letting me share this with others too.

Past & Present

uhuukkk...uhukkk..banyak sawang dah nieee...cob web here n there ..wooshh..wiissshh...ok..dah clear..:)

well after neglecting the ugly but adorable home for quite sometime, i finally find time to refurb what needs to be refurb.

so what's in store for 2007 and what 2006 has taught me?

2006 has been a rough year for the family. A battle that has no ending or rather waiting for an unknown ending. Whatever it is I know for sure it's gonna be a painfull effect on all especially the kids.How can I fight this ego in me? Am i angry at her? I'm not angry at her for needing another shelter, for needing another half to complete what has been take away abruptly. It was a calculated risk which I have warned her very much earlier, a risk that she has to deal with and not run away from it because it started from her decision to do so. They say blood is thicker than water, so I guess we ain't her blood anymore. No more calls, not even from the kids, I guess it's too hard to instill value in the kids when anger takes over the adult mind.

Mom has repeatedly ask me? What is happening to the kids? Takkan after abang's death the line is cut off? I know I have to make the first move but my heart is still full of questions? why?? why did she elope? why can't she make an effort to have little sensitivity towards my mom? why can't she make an effort to make contact with our side of the family, to my aunts, to my uncles, not more for her benefits, just so the kids knows their roots.

Alhamdullilah, Zahin n Muhd got straight A's for their UPSR. And they got to a boarding school. Mom had to call and ask for this. I don't mind to do it, but it just hurts me to see that an old grandma had to call and ask for something that is phone call away for the kids.

Mom made a difficult journey to Abang's grave on Eid Adha. Because she could not do it on Eid Fitri, she insisted to go on that day. Called the neighbour and ask if the kids were at home perhaps they can come down to meet "wan" which is a stone throw away from home. They came, but not the kids, it was Abg Mat nor and Kak Wani who came instead. Mom was touched, happy and tried very hard to hide her disappointment. Touched that the couple came, happy that she was able to make that journey and disappointed that none of her grandchildren came over to wish her Eid Adha.It was that close... the next day they left for boarding school without again calling "wan".

I pray that Allah will lead me through the right path in dealing with this. Insya Allah, He will...meanwhile I can only offer my doa for everything to turn out as how she SIL has hoped for. For if not, I shall not again have the courage to see what will her next action be.

2007 came and I can only hope for a better year for family and me. About a month ago, I brought mom to her doctor appointment in UH. She actually walked all the way from the entrance to the waiting area infact she was walking from one point to another that I could not believe that in November she had to be wheel-chaired to the doctor. How we're blessed...I'm forever grateful to Allah s.w.t for bringing my mom's health back. My sister keep telling my mom, Mie, mummy kena byk byk bersyukur for all the things that happen and the outcome which was beyond our expectation.

Infact she is driving now, she started to drive last week and ecstatic that she could do so. We reminded her to not over do it and still keep with the medicine, treatment, physio and of course the doas.

As for me, I'm starting a new job in a new place and back into the hustle and bustle of KL. I'm planning to commute as much as possible. Infact during this one week break I took the comuter down town and also the LRT as early as 7am just to see what I'm getting myself into. To see what's the damage like. Will it be so bad as some of my negative friends comment. Here I am telling them, I can commute, why not? I commuted when I was in London, as early as 6am, it was not a problem. And they were like, yeah...it's gonna be sauna commuting here and no nice trench coat you can wear to look good and nice boots is not an option...aarrghhh..so negative!!! It turn out not to bad at all, it wud help if the weather were a bit cooler and LRT shud have more coaches to handle the 9am & 5pm traffic. I was in KL Sentral trying to get to Dang Wangi today and we were put on Q like in school, serves the Malaysian society right for not practising certain values. Because some of us who do not know or pretend not to know that we should give way to passengers who's getting out and therefore we Q like school children. And need they be reminded that if they wish to remain at a spot on an escalator they should stand on the left side!!! Argghhh....it's even written on the wall in some places. Gosh..dun they read?? My annoyance escalates everytime I uses the escalators here... People please..read and practise...


2007 at the moment looking bright for me. I hope I'm making all the right moves this year and if I ever fall, please Allah let me get up with dignity.

Unpredictables

Like the unpredictable morning highway traffic, my life too has been bumpy and unpredictable especially for the last 5 years.

I did not predict in my early childhood that I will be working abroad alone as soon as I past my quarter of decade birthday. But I did.

I did not predict that at this age I will still be single and no kids, because only that who knows me knows how much I love em’. And I’m still single.

I did not predict that I will lost my brother at his early age of 36, I always thought that all of us will at least grow ripe together and not until I’m married the elder siblings will keep bugging me because to their mind I’m a gone case. But he went away without notice.

I did not predict that my innocent looking Sister in Law whom we love dearly, who knew my late brother until his time of death was 23years in which 13 was their married life will re-marry in less than a year after his death. A sister unlike my 2 other rebellious sisters whom I thought will forever love my brother dearly, whom I thought won’t ever disobey her parents, but she did. She got married far away on the east coast without her parents consent. Yes she did. Apakah pesanan arwah yang masih terngiang-ngiang di telinga on that last Friday? Jagalah maruah dia. Thank you sis, thank you kerana menjatuhkan maruah abang saya dan tolong jangan jadikan alasan bahawasanya Abang telah meninggalkan wasiat kepada Ustaz itu to marry you dan juga jangan jadikan anak-anak sebagai alasan. It’s sad to see that there’s no place in your heart saying it’s not ok to be no 2. I would have not imagine in a million years that you have a heart to rip another woman and 2 young kids happiness just to fulfill yours. But you just did it.

Zahin, my first nephew cried and cried while my sister and brother spoke to him about situations. He's only 12... I wish I was there when they spoke to him. It was important that he knows that despite all the things happening, he can always come to Abah's family for help and that nothing will change, our love will be the same..he's a victim of the situation. I feel his tears even in my absence. At least at the age of 12 I had a father, I'm sure he did not predict that Abah will only be around during the first 11years of his life and before reaching 13, he will have a step father. But it happen...

I never thought my mom would be diagnose with RA at an early age of 63. Never came across my mind that she would never again cook for us that delicious home cooking. All we can get from her now is instructions on how to cook a dish and despite the right ingredients and methods I still don’t get her taste, her passion, her aroma…..somehow or rather my satisfaction is not fulfilled. But I thank my sister for cooking us that scrumptious meal for Raya. Great effort sis.. I would not be able to cook all those meals, even if I tried.

One thing I’m sure and predicted is that my Abah won’t change. I was alone when I fisrt saw the Petronas advert for Raya..I cried buckets.. I had no one that I can share this moment with. The next day I told my mom about it...Sometimes after Isya, I got a text.."dah tengok..mum and me nangis wooo" I ran downstairs to see my sis and mum..sedihkan mie?? hahaaa..tu la uncle helmi cousin abah tu..ooo no wonder he looks familiar. But what I'm trying to point here is..I dun want to do that to my Abah..no matter how he was or is to us. Sometimes people outside the family do not understand our situation. Abah can be so nice to strangers but have a never ending revenge towards his family. For the whole month of Holy Ramadan despite doing the saum and terawih all he has in words for our cousin is how nasty is his children and wife and the unimaginable cursed. Bukankah kata-kata seorang bapa itu adalah satu doa? I hope one day Allah will show him the right path and that we’re not as bad as he think and mommy is a good mom and wife. For now, my siblings and I will do our level best to entertain him and at the same time take care the jewel of the family.

Life’s so unpredictable or almost all of it are. Despite all this I’m counting my blessing for having a mother and father, for having sisters to argue with at the same time knowing that I can count on them in my time of needs, for having a brother to listen on when I need a listening ear and not “I told you so”, for having 7 wonderful nephews and nieces, for having wonderful friends online and not online, for finally having a job that I’m happy with though I think I should earn more, for being born a Muslim though I have lots of catching up to do, for the only 1 ex I had who taught me what love and relationship is all about… and for all those wonderful memories sweet and sour of my life.

My life would be meaningless without it and the people around me, past, present and future.

Thank you..thank you..syukran..jazakallahukhairan….

Till my next entry I would like to end this with my usual better late than never wishes,

Selamat Hari Raya & Maaf Zahir Batin to all my fellow bloggers and readers.. errr..ader kerr??


1. Anggerik Merah
2. Aunty N
3. Ayong
4. Azer Mantessa
5. Bertique
6. BTB Bro
7. Boogie
8. Blackfeline Sis
9. Bro Hero
10. Cosmic Gurl
11. Dayang Zone
12. Freex n Geex
13. Gab
14. Gravtkills
15. Bro Idham
16. Intan the SING Goddess
17. Isas
18. Itote
19. Jade aka Jar Miow
20. Jlop Jollie
21. Kak Teh
22. Kak Lady
23. Lollies the Doha Goddess
24. MadameRosse
25. Mak Andeh
26. Mak Lang
27. Mak Nenek
28. Mama Rock
29. Merapu Man
30. Nadia
31. Ninuk
32. NoreMourinho
33. Nour
34. NzN
35. Pak Adib
36. Pokku
37. Romancing The Stone
38. Sheryl
39. Sue Ixora
40. Sya the Kakak Bowling
41. TruBlue
42. Twisted Joe
43. Not forgetting..Kak Elle in SING & Kak Lady in SA

Not forgetting too my EFX2 buddies...

1. Dory
2. Elisa Taufik the Al-Khobar Goddess
3. FamyGirl
4. LazyDaisy79
5. Yes..lollies again..:)
6. Moonlite
7. Nadia
8. Nonah
9. Offlionandbear
10. OndeOnde
11.Primary Basic
12. Rotidua


A sms that I send before Eid which was not invented by me, but I kinda like the words.

Ada saat
Mata silap melihat
Telinga salah mendengar
Lidah terlanjur berkata
Fikiran khilaf menafsir
&
Hati silap menduga

Mohon maaf dan ampun sempena Syawal yang mulia

Bahasa Jiwa Bangsa

This is a long overdue post..i think i wrote this for the already over Merdeka day...well better late than never. I can't even remember which Sunday that I saw FFM19. It's definately not the past 2 weeks though because life has been hectic. I have like 5 entries in my draft, which is not fully complete... coz I get too tired easily nowadays....oohh..man..i really need a booster.. whatever that come across my mind and I dun have the pc in front of me, i will scribble it, so i can input it later..

so wht did i miss? a merdeka wishes to all and thanks also for all the birthday wishes...u know who u are..and i luv y'all

well, read thru and wait for more to come.... and to those that kept coming...tks so much...and i will make my way thru your blog soon... insyaAllah


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I managed to watch the rerun of FFM19 on Sunday. I came across the show half- way through and decided to switch channels in between just so I can catch the much said"I feel stupid speaking malay" controversy.

Bahasa jiwa bangsa, I don't consider myself cakap speaking berabuk kaa..or whatsoever but depending on situations yes i can speak like a londoner not cockney yaaa..though i can swear in cockney fluently or speak like americanish gitu. I tend to adjust myself automatically to suit each individual. Not because I want to please them or nak tunjuk perasan bagus kaa but simply because I'm comfortable with it. When I speak to my gardeners at work, automatically my bahasa melayu jadi bahasa indon. Does that make me a less berjiwa bangsa? What do u think?

I think this young actress is full of dynamic, full of spirit, full of everything for that matter that she forget by being bold with words in the Malaysian public has it's stake. She's just so bold that she forget that, that night was FFM19 not the Emmy Awards. She wants to be outspoken without preparing her self with the right words and the crowd expectation. I'm pretty sure what she meant that night was, "i'm comfortable in delivering my speech in english". It would be less controversial but it will still spark some uneasiness among people. Biasa la tekak rakyat malaysia nie sentiasa ada benda yg nak dipertikaikan. As I mentioned couple of times, we're one creative nation. Macam-macam ada!!! So Nani girl don't be sad, last year you were shivering on stage but this year you're a totally different, very gutsy..errr.. i didn't watch last year FFM's but that was what mentioned. So that is a good transformation, it shows that you have matured and will keep on doing just that and along the way you will face all sorts of obstacles and that's life.. so keep up the good work.

I don't write as good as I was in the school..mind you that is about 13years ago. Paper 1 english I will snore after merely and hour or so then I'll start to annoy others by banging the table with the pencil, Paper 2, I will be so engrossed in writing my composition fiction-please begin your composition with this sentence...oohh..those were my favorites. Kencing...kencing...and kencing...tks to virginia andrews and sidney sheldon..hehh..hehhh

I used to read a lot since young. Apart from the much forced piano lesson I have to attend, the much loved ballet lesson and the whishhh and whuuussshhh of swimming lesson I always find time to read. I'll read all sort of things, from fiction, encyclopedia, dictionary, story of the prophets and magazines. What's my favourite?? Hardy Boys, Nancy Drew, Noddy, Tin tan, Sweet Dreams collections, M&B and I read my first Virginia Andrews - The Dollaganger Family when I was 9. I read in the car, I read while accompanying my mom kat Kompleks PKNS SA tu jual carpet, I read kat party tupperware dan di segala party MLM business..arcopal, arcoroc, cosway, tokway..pyrex...pheww!!! I read before sleeping infact I read everything except my text books. Ohh..those were the boring ones. I remembered when I was 10 or 11, I got really bad results in my exam that I packed my back and ran away from home with my BMX. The first place my mom look was at the then "Berita Book Centre-BBC" at PKNS and guess who she found?? Yours truly... Well at least for that particular exam I did not get a whip on my palm....oucchh sakit wooo.. Than at one point after form 5 I completely stop reading..goshh I dunno why?? I regretted that. Me being introduced to this blog land have made me realised that I've missed a whole lot of things in life..simple thing such as reading a book, taking time off for myself and appreciating people around me i.e family and friends.

The only subject that I scored constant disinction since std 1 was English. I wonder why I did not take up TESL or sumthin similar..or kept on reading, I would have been able to write beautifully like my goddess friend. Ohh..I so envy her..magnificent style she has..and her song....beautifully written. But she is in everyway and every inch is Malaysian and she swears on that.. kann..kannn?? Melayu kapak gilersss.. just like me..

Sometime ago when I was a teenager I asked my mom,

Me - Mie, why the chinese student of yours can score straight for BM and I can't?

Mom - Because, the malay think, just because we speak malay and we're born with it, we can ace the subject. The chinese on the other hand think, to compete with the malay in getting a spot in the uni they have to ace this subject and because it's not their mother tongue they learn it the straight way - via the text book.

Me - I think I can write a good karangan..

Mom - Ok..go and write and then you compare it with my student's paper.

*Mom was teaching in a chinese school.


What a shame..my BM for spm was only C5..cukup2 makan..malu sehhh..dgn non-malay yg lain..almost all distinction. Should I be proud that I aced English??

Orang selalu tanyer..ehh..camner yer u pandai cakap english?? eehh..pandai ker?? i imitate jer pandai..pastuh byk tengok tv..maser kecik2 dulu tengok mcgyver, the a team, star wars, V, dan sumer sitcom i.e happy days, punky brewster, family ties, eight is enough, growing pains and macam2 lagie la..damn!!! what's that sitcom malcolm jamal was in...oohh..that famous actor..arrgghh...and also that sitcom with the shorty black guy..aiyaaaa...now it's killing me..tolong..i will not sleep soundly for this....

Okehh that should be my first instance nyer answer.

Then I will say, READ. Read as much as you can and keep a pocket dictionary next to you always. Read also the daily newspaper. I was lucky that my parents thot that having daily newspaper send to the house is important when we were kids. Now?? none of my married siblings house ader subscribe from the mamak paper. Kesian mamak tu?? Can't blame them..the papers nowadays are full of craps..time has changed. But like someone has said before, paparazzi only write what people want to read, so if there's demand on crap issues so crap issues is what we'll get.


Now with the topsy turvy grammars, silly spelling errors, wrong way of writing sentence i.e verb, adjective, verb to be etc..I'm starting to write anyway. I've spend considerable amount of money at MPH that will last me till the end of the year I hope. I make a point to read a page or two before I go into my lala land, I read during heavy traffic and I'll keep on reading. And I will keep on writing my blog in english or campur and not in full BM. Not because I feel stupid, simply because I'm comfortable with it and I look up at people who writes in BM...they have my utmost respect..simply because, I'm not as good as them in doing so.

For the coming National Day, here wishing all of you out there..Selamat Hari Merdeka ke 49!!! May we have more merdeka to come... merdeka to write how we want, to speak how we like and to sing when we want without being judge.

I'm every inch Malaysian and I'm proud of it. But I would like to stay in London because I can put on my nice charity shop trench coat in winter, wear my not a 2nd hand trainers during summer and clickety clack my sexy black boots during spring and breathe the nice smell breeze of autumm leaves.

Yes..people...c'mon, hit me mate..hit me!!!

When will it end??

Does it work?? If we boycott these brands does it work?? Certain things I can forgo, but they're some I can't. Does that make me a heartless person?

I'll do my best with whatever I have. I'll contribute what I can within my means. And I'll pray for the peace of this little world we have and for all the citizens of the world and all muslims wherever you are. Amin..

Soulmate made in heaven.

So it was settled. She said she had no intention to lock me out or whatsover. Thank you friends, u know who you are, thanks for the advice. I take it that it's about time for me to go anyway. My mom need me more then ever now. I came back on Friday night, I saw my mom's face all swollen and I knew she has been crying if not the whole day at least the whole evening.

Redha, that's the word I told her. We have to accept the lot here. This is our test. Not as hard as others but just as hard. She said, I told her father " Haji, dia dah lupa kat anak saya Ji, dier luper kat anak saya macam tukar baju". My heart filled with sadness, my eyes filled with tears. I had to pacify her frustration and depression. Dulu orang2 tua slalu cakap, lelaki, kubur bini merah lagie dah nak kawin lagi, nie the opposite pulak.. I don't know..honestly..I try to seal myself from commenting anything if possible, but how could I?? I'm just an imperfect human after all. I just wish ultimate happines for her and her new family.

In referring to a blogger friend blog on his entry - "Soulmate". I keep asking myself, does soulmate exist? Define soulmate?

a) It means that if a couple weather the strongest storm succesfully, they're still together and love each other more forever and ever.

b) If the otherhalf life is shortlived, and if the other half remain single till the day he/she dies and meet in the otherworld.

c) If a couple who did not survived stage 1 hurricane and disperse only to come back stronger because of the strong call of love.

d) If a couple who cannot be together for some reason, but they're solid as friends and collapse if binded.

Anymore options for the defination? I'm looking for soulmate made in heaven?? Exist?? Nahhh... in fairytale land maybe. Sometimes love build for over 15years can just be gone just like that. When someone has intention to re-marries in less then 6 months after the otherhalf last breath, can the love be questioned at all?? When is soon is too soon and late is late enough?? That is the question.

Yours Truly will soon be relocated to SA until further notice. Life as a nomad, that's me. For now I have a grieving mother to attend to and we have a wedding to execute for the coming National day.

Random Ramblings of Ugleeeyyyy

Zillion of things to write but u know when any of your family member have stumbled upon your blog, that makes it difficult to write from the heart. Because what comes from this heart maybe it's not wht their eyes wants to read..yaaa..i know..it's my flipping blog, why should I care?? but knowing me..nak menjaga hati sumer org yg berkenaan I have to be the goody toooshoooes. I can't even write about wht I shop fearing of remarks...'oohh..shopping nampak..bayar la hutang dulu', I can't even write that I went to Zeta bar or Planet or yg sewaktu dengannyer menemankan kawan yg kecundang dlm cinta or simply to let myself loose..fearing of remarks...'tak baik...kita kalau gagal dlm hidup dr segi aper pun, must turn to Allah' well like who am I to say this..aku pun far from perfect. It took me donkey years to actually put in into practise. Who don't know?? Melayu kat Malaysia nie...infact all muslims we know from small, it is instill in our head and mind that we turn only to Him for forgiveness, for help, for everything. But who actually act on it?? Not all kan..some turn to booze, some turn to drugs, some act upon a bitter sweet revenge by doing the same thing to others, some turn to clubbing 7 nites a week, some turn to their wheels-speed like nobody's business..many ways laaah.. but does that make that person a bad person?? unfortunately to some people with shallow thinking, yes, but to me, the ending of human life, only Allah knows so I as another human who is far from perfection will and do whatever I can in my way to be kind.

In fifteen days I will be moving on to another sequence of my life. My life has been colorful with many downs and little bit of ups. Mom, always say I'm born on a silver spoon, whatever that means. I'm not the brightest in the family, infact yg lain have degrees or masters, well with an exception to Arwah who only have diploma but he's far ahead of me. He had his own business to be proud of. He had to prove to my mom that he's able to take care of his family the day he told my mom that he wants to get married. He was only 24 then. And he did. Somehow or rather he did and he had a very understanding wife then. But now things change. Better stop here..freeze me fingers from typing further. That reminds me, is his 14th anniversary to be today. One of the happiest day of his life I must say...to my SIL too I hope.

Okayy..back to born on a silver spoon thingy, I was the only one that "kapur" my dad's money for my private college education..the rest was either on loan or scholars. I started work exactly a month after I graduated. My first job, I had a company car and company handphone..whooaaa!!! dun play..play..aaa. My first job landed me 2 pink forms too when they boarded the 2nd board on KLSE. Made some extra bucks there. Then I worked my ass off for another couple of years, landed jobs that I want after 1st interview then off to the Kingdom.

Okaayyy..I shall continue this soon..brain dead skejab. For now just enjoy the 666's myth of relationship..betul kee?? Left that industry quite sometime ago..lost track.



6 weeks , 6 months, 6 years . . .


Dating process:
6 weeks : I love U, I love U, I love U.
6 months : Of course I love U.
6 years : GOD, if I didn't love U, then why the hell did I propose?


Back from Work:
6 weeks : Honey, I'm home.
6 months : BACK!!
6 years : What did your mom cook for us today??


Gifts:
6 weeks : Honey, I really hope you liked the ring.
6 months : I bought you a painting; it would fit the motif in the living room.
6 years : Here's the money. Buy yourself something.


Phone Ringing:
6 weeks : Baby, somebody wants you on the phone.
6 months : Here, for you.
6 years : PHONE RINGING.


Cooking:
6 weeks : I never knew food could taste so good!
6 months : What are we having for dinner tonight?
6 years : AGAIN!!!!


Apology:
6 weeks : Honey muffin, don't you worry, Ill never hold this against you.
6 months : Watch out! Don't do it again.
6 years : What's not to understand about what I just said??


New Dress:
6 weeks : Oh my God, you look like an angel in that dress.
6 months : You bought a new dress again???
6 years : How much did THAT cost me?


Planning for Vacations:
6 weeks : How do 2 weeks in Vienna or anywhere you please sound??
6 months : What's so bad about going to India on a charter plane?
6 years : Travel? What's so bad about staying home???


TV:
6 weeks : Baby, what would you like us to watch tonight?
6 months : I like this movie.
6 years : I'm going to watch ESPN, if you're not in the mood, go to bed, I can stay up by myself . . .

Mashitah and Faith

Most of the time that I stayed up late to surf the net, I'm accompanied by Mashitah. My youngest niece. Oh..yes she can sleep really late. Most of the time she'll just watch TV and once in a while she will get me to bring her to the loo or water or to make her milk.

And without fail she will always ask me to play the "Spice Girl - Mama" song that I have add on to my favourites. She will hear it over and over again and even insist that she should click on the play button.

With her big round eyes, she will always ask me, Mashitah nak Abah I love you pulak. So I will tell her, ok we listen to this song and when we reach the chorus we'll sing Abah, I love you instead of Mama. She will smile and say ok. She will sit with me and we will sing together. So they we go singing in a very low tone volume afraid of waking up the others. Ohh..how it hurts me to see that she did not get to enjoy her Abah as much as others have.

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Something I received from my inbox. Apparently it's a real conversation. A simple defination of God does exist and to have faith is vital.


AN INTERESTING CONVERSATION
(God, Faith and Science. Think about it)


An atheist professor of philosophy speaks to his class on the problem science has with God, The Almighty. He asks one of his new students to stand and.....

Prof: So you believe in God?
Student: Absolutely, sir.
Prof: Is God good?
Student: Sure.

Prof: Is God all-powerful?
Student: Yes.
Prof: My brother died of cancer even though he prayed to God to heal him. Most of us would attempt to help others who are ill. But God didn't. How is this God good then? Hmm?
(Student is silent.)

Prof: You can't answer, can you? Let's start again, young fellow. Is God good?
Student: Yes.
Prof: Is Satan good?
Student: No.

Prof: Where does Satan come from?
Student: From...God...
Prof: That's right. Tell me son, is there evil in this world?
Student: Yes.

Prof: Evil is everywhere, isn't it? And God did make everything. Correct?
Student: Yes.
Prof: So who created evil?
Student does not answer.

Prof: Is there sickness? Immorality? Hatred? Ugliness? All these terrible things exist in the world, don't they?
Student: Yes, sir.
Prof: So, who created them?
Student has no answer.

Prof: Science says you have 5 senses you use to identify and observe the world around you. Tell me, son...Have you ever seen God?
Student: No, sir.
Prof: Tell us if you have ever heard your God?
Student: No, sir.

Prof: Have you ever felt your God, tasted your God, smelt your God? Have you ever had any sensory perception of God for that matter?
Student: No, sir. I'm afraid I haven't.
Prof: Yet you still believe in Him?
Student: Yes.

Prof: According to empirical, testable, demonstrable protocol, science says your GOD doesn't exist. What do you say to that, son?
Student: Nothing. I only have my faith.
Prof: Yes. Faith. And that is the problem science has.

Student: Professor, is there such a thing as heat?
Prof: Yes.
Student: And is there such a thing as cold?
Prof: Yes.
Student: No sir. There isn't.
(The lecture theatre becomes very quiet with this turn of events.)

Student: Sir, you can have lots of heat, even more heat, superheat, mega heat, white heat, a little heat or no heat. But we don't have anything called cold. We can hit 458 degrees below zero which is no heat, but we can't go any further after that. There is no such thing as cold. Cold is only a word we use to describe the absence of heat. We cannot measure cold. Heat is energy. Cold is not the opposite of heat, sir, just the absence of it.
(There is pin-drop silence in the lecture theatre.)

Student: What about darkness, Professor? Is there such a thing as darkness?
Prof: Yes. What is night if there isn't darkness?
Student: You're wrong again, sir. Darkness is the absence of something. You can have low light, normal light, bright light, flashing light....But if you have no light constantly, you have nothing and it's called darkness, isn't it? In reality, darkness isn't. If it were you would be able to make darkness darker, wouldn't you?

Prof: So what is the point you are making, young man?
Student: Sir, my point is your philosophical premise is flawed.
Prof: Flawed? Can you explain how?

Student: Sir, you are working on the premise of duality. You argue there is life and then there is death, a good God and a bad God. You are viewing the concept of God as something finite, something we can measure. Sir, science can't even explain a thought. It uses electricity and magnetism, but has never seen, much less fully understood either one. To view death as the opposite of life is to be ignorant of the fact that death cannot exist as a substantive thing. Death is not the opposite of life: just the absence of it. Now tell me, Professor. Do you teach your students that they evolved from a monkey?

Prof: If you are referring to the natural evolutionary process, yes, of course, I do.
Student: Have you ever observed evolution with your own eyes, sir? (The Professor shakes his head with a smile, beginning to realize where the argument is going.)
Student: Since no one has ever observed the process of evolution at work and cannot even prove that this process is an on-going endeavor, are you not teaching your opinion, sir? Are you not a scientist but a preacher? (The class is in uproar.)

Student: Is there anyone in the class who has ever seen the Professor's brain?
(The class breaks out into laughter.)
Student: Is there anyone here who has ever heard the Professor's brain, felt it, touched or smelt it? No one appears to have done so. So, according to the established rules of empirical, stable, demonstrable protocol, science says that you have no brain, sir. With all due respect, sir, how do we then trust your lectures, sir?
(The room is silent. The professor stares at the student, his face unfathomable.)

Prof: I guess you'll have to take them on faith, son.
Student: That is it sir... The link between man & God is FAITH. That is all that keeps things moving & alive.


****************
WANT TO KNOW WHO THAT STUDENT WAS?
NB: This is a true story, and the student was none other than.........
Dr. APJ Abdul Kalam, the present president of India.

Of Love, Life and Values

When a marriage collapse for whatever reason, I think both parties will feel the heartache. Sometimes there are some women or men who will fight for their marriage right till the end but there are those who will just give in to fate and let it be. I'm not married, so I won't know what I'll do if and when it happens to me..nauzubillahminzalik... Life's so unpredictable, I don't want to imagine it but I do hope that when the time comes I will do the right thing, be it to stay or to leave.

Something that I want to share with fellow bloggers and a reminder for me when the going gets tough!!


When You Divorce Me, Carry Me Out in Your Arms

On my wedding day, I carried my wife in my arms. The bridal car stopped in front of our one-room flat. My buddies insisted that I carry her out of the car in my arms. So I carried her into our home. She was then plump and shy.. I was a strong and happy bridegroom.

This was the scene ten years ago.

The following days were as simple as a cup of pure water: we had a kid; I went into business and tried to make more money. When the assets were steadily increasing, the affection between us seemed to ebb. She was a civil servant. Every morning we left home together and got home almost at the same time. Our kid was studying in a boarding school.

Our marriage life seemed to be enviably happy. But the calm life was more likely to be affected by unpredictable changes.


Dew came into my life.

It was a sunny day. I stood on a spacious balcony. Dew hugged me from behind. My heart once again was immersed in her stream of love. This was the apartment I bought for her.

Dew said, you are the kind of man who best draws girls' eyeballs. Her words suddenly reminded me of my wife. When we were just married, my wife said, Men like you, once successful, will be very attractive to girls.

Thinking of this, I became somewhat hesitant. I knew I had betrayed my wife.. But I couldn't help doing so.

I moved Dew's hands aside and said you go to select some furniture, O.K.? I've got something to do in the company. Obviously she was unhappy, because I had promised to do it together with her. At the moment, the idea of divorce became clearer in my mind although it used to be something impossible to me.

However, I found it rather difficult to tell my wife about it. No matter how mildly I mentioned it to her, she would be deeply hurt.

Honestly, she was a good wife. Every evening she was busy preparing dinner.

I was sitting in front of the TV. The dinner was ready soon. Then we watched TV together. Or, I was lounging before the computer, visualizing Dew's body. This was the means of my entertainment.

One day I said to her in a slightly joking way, suppose we divorce, what will you do? She stared at me for a few seconds without a word. Apparently she believed that divorce was something too far away from her. I couldn't imagine how she would react once she got to know I was serious.

When my wife went to my office, Dew had just stepped out. Almost all the staff looked at my wife with a sympathetic eye and tried to hide something while talking to her. She seemed to have got some hint. She gently smiled at my subordinates. But I read some hurt in her eyes.

Once again, Dew said to me, He Ning, divorce her, O.K. Then we live together. I nodded. I knew I could not hesitate any more.

When my wife served the last dish, I held her hand. I've got something to tell you, I said. She sat down and ate quietly. Again I observed the hurt in her eyes.Suddenly I didn't know how to open my mouth. But I had to let her know what I was thinking. I want a divorce. I raised the serious topic calmly.

She didn't seem to be annoyed by my words, instead she asked me softly, why? I'm serious. I avoided her question. This so-called answer made her angry.. She threw away the chopsticks and shouted at me, you are not a man!

That night, we didn't talk to each other. She was weeping. I knew she wanted to find out what had happened to our marriage. But I could hardly give her a satisfactory answer, because my heart had gone to Dew.

With a deep sense of guilt, I drafted a divorce agreement which stated that she could own our house, our car, and 30% stake of my company. She glanced at it and then tore it into pieces. I felt a pain in my heart. The woman who had been living ten years with me would become a stranger one day. But I could not take back what I had said.

Finally she cried loudly in front of me, which was what I had expected to see. To me her cry was actually a kind of release. The idea of divorce which had obsessed me for several weeks seemed to be firmer and clearer.

Late that night, I came back home after entertaining my clients. I saw her writing something at the table. I fall asleep fast. When I woke up, I found she was still there. I turned over and was asleep again.

She brought up her divorce conditions: she didn't want anything from >me, but I was supposed to give her one month s time before divorce, and in the month's time we must live as normal a life as possible. Her reason was simple: our son would finish his summer vacation a month later and she didn't want him to see our marriage was broken.

She passed me the agreement she drafted, and then asked me, He Ning, do you still remember how I entered our bridal room on the wedding day? This question suddenly brought back all those wonderful memories to me. I nodded and said, I remember. You carried me in your arms, she continued, so, I have a requirement, that is, you carry me out in your arms on the day when we divorce. From now to the end of this month, you must carry me out from the bedroom to the door every morning.

I accepted with a smile. I knew she missed those sweet days and wished
to end her marriage romantically.

I told Dew about my wife s divorce conditions. She laughed loudly and thought it was absurd. No matter what tricks she does, she has to face the result of divorce, she said scornfully. Her words more or less made me feel uncomfortable.

My wife and I hadn't had any body contact since my divorce intention was explicitly expressed. We even treated each other as a stranger. So when I carried her out on the first day, we both appeared clumsy. Our son clapped behind us, daddy is holding mummy in his arms. His words brought me a sense of pain. From the bedroom to the sitting room, then to the door, I walked over ten meters with her in my arms. She closed her eyes and said softly, Let us start from today, don't tell our son.
I nodded, feeling somewhat upset. I put her down outside the door. She went to wait for a bus, I drove to the office.

On the second day, both of us acted much more easily. She leaned on my chest. We were so close that I could smell the fragrance of her blouse. I realized that I hadn't looked at this intimate woman carefully for a long time. I found she was not young any more. There were some fine wrinkles on her face.

On the third day, she whispered to me, the outside garden is being demolished. Be careful when you pass there.

On the fourth day, when I lifted her up, I seemed to feel that we were still an intimate couple and I was holding my sweetheart in my arms. The visualization of Dew became vague.

On the fifth and sixth day, she kept reminding me something, such as, where she put the ironed shirts, I should be careful while cooking, etc. I nodded. The sense of intimacy was even stronger. I didn't tell Dew about this.

I felt it was easier to carry her. Perhaps the everyday workout made me stronger. I said to her, It seems not difficult to carry you now. She was picking her dresses. I was waiting to carry her out. She tried quite a few but could not find a suitable one. Then she sighed, all my dresses have grown bigger. I smiled. But I suddenly realized that it was because she was thinner that I could carry her more easily, not
because I was stronger. I knew she had buried all the bitterness in her heart. Again, I felt a sense of pain.. Subconsciously I reached out a hand to touch her head.

Our son came in at the moment. Dad, it's time to carry mum out. He said. To him, seeing his father carrying his mother out had been an essential part of his life. She gestured our son to come closer and hugged him tightly. I turned my face because I was afraid I would change my mind at the last minute. I held her in my arms, walking from the bedroom, through the sitting room, to the hallway. Her hand
surrounded my neck softly and naturally. I held her body tightly, as if we came back to our wedding day. But her much lighter weight made me sad.

On the last day, when I held her in my arms I could hardly move a step. Our son had gone to school. She said, actually I hope you will hold me in your arms until we are old.

I held her tightly and said, both you and I didn't notice that our life lacked intimacy.

I jumped out of the car swiftly without locking the door. I was afraid any delay would make me change my decision. I walked upstairs. Dew opened the door. I said to her, Sorry, Dew, I won't divorce. I'm serious.

She looked at me, astonished. The she touched my forehead. You got no fever.. She said. I moved her hand off my head. Sorry, Dew, I said, I can only say sorry to you, I won't divorce. My marriage life was boring probably because she and I didn't value the details of life, not because we didn't love each other any more. Now I understand that since I carried her into the home, she gave birth to our child, I am supposed to hold her until I am old. So I have to say sorry to you.

Dew seemed to suddenly wake up. She gave me a loud slap and then slammed the door and burst into tears. I walked downstairs and drove to the office.

When I passed the floral shop on the way, I ordered a bouquet for my wife which was her favorite. The salesgirl asked me what to write on the card. I smiled and wrote, I'll carry you out every morning until we are old.


~Love is blind. Love makes us do crazy things. Loves makes us cry. Loves makes us confused. But without Love we're just a dry person in and out. And we often forget, to value and love ourselves because we're so busy finding love that have price but has no value.~

Money is everything??

I've received this e-mail today and thot that it wud be wise to share with my fellow bloggers.



Let's to do some calculations here. In Malaysia the average family income
is RM3000 (Father works, mother doesnt). I understand there are a lot of
families whose income don't reach RM3000, but, to make things simple, lets
take RM3000 as the figure. ok la right?
Okay, let's start rolling with a family which has Papa, Mama, 1 daughter
and 1 son. ngam ngam..

Calculation starts...

Electricity and water bil RM100 (no aircond, no home theatre, no water
heater k?)

Telekom and Handphone bil RM100 (cannot make a lot of calls one you know?
NO Streamyx also)

Meal for the whole happy family RM775 (3 meals on RM25/day, RM25 for 4
persons????)

Papa makan/teh tarik during working hours RM155 (RM5/day, RM5 can eat
what?)

Car repayment RM400 (a proton saga aeroback, 7 years repayment)

Petrol RM300 (Living in City, Jam) Go to work, bring son to school, only
can afford one car running.

Insurance RM650, (kids, wife and myself).

House repayment RM750 (Low cost housing repayment for 30 years, retired
still have to work to pay house!)

Tuition RM80 (got that cheap meh?? No, I don't think so)

Older children pocket money @ school RM20 (RM1/day, eat bread??)

School fees RM30 (enough ah??)

School books and etc etc. RM100 (always got extra to pay in school)

Younger children milk powder RM50 (cannot have the DHA, BHA, PHA one,
expensive)

Miscellaneous RM100 (shampoo, rice, sauce, toilet paper)

oh wait!!! I have to stop here, so... No Astro, no movie @ cinema, no DVD,
no CD, no online, cannot KFC, cannot Mc Donald, cannot go Park walk during
weekend(petrol expensive), no chit chat on phone with grandparents, and
etc...

Let's use a calculator to total up... WALAO EI.. Shit! RM3610 already.. EPF
belum potong, income tax lagi,........oledi --- RM610... How to survive
laa tuan-tuan dan puan-puan sekalian???

Our Deputy Prime Minister ask us to change lifestyle? How to change? Don't
eat? Don't work? Don't send children to school and study? Besides that, I
believe in Malaysia population, there are millions of Rakyat Malaysia which
still don't earn RM3000/month!!!

What is this? Ini lah Malaysia Boleh.. Sorry.. it should be Malaysians
Boleh, because we're still alive and kicking!!
Our politicians must be mad!!!!!!

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And still there's people who says money is not everything......???